#not a day goes up that I'm not absolutely wrecked by the thought of that damn bird

[qpjianghu]

 “It’s not that you don’t forgive others... it’s that you refuse to forgive yourself.”

Li Xiangyi / Li Lianhua - Mysterious Lotus Casebook, Ep. 40

[vulchak]

So. I watched the live action Lilo and Stitch. (Completely unrelated but Jack Sparrow is one of my favorite Disney characters, anyway-) The original is my favorite 2d Animated movie. I wanted to wait a couple days just to get my thoughts in order but I think the notes I took while watching are more accurate to how I feel about this insult to animation, storytelling and character

It got long so TL;DR, This whole movie feels gutted. Gutted of the themes, of the atmosphere, and of the heart. A downright insult to the original. How this badly acted, lit, and animated thing is getting good reviews is beyond me. It doesn't hold up neither as a remake, nor as a movie in its own right

Right off the bat the pace is 5 times quicker than the original. Nothing has time to sink in, I feel like I'm watching the movie at double speed

And they've moved things around for no reason, Stitch is shown first, then Jumba is brought in, which just dampens the impact of both their introductions

Jumba sounds 20 years younger and way more boring than he should, he sounds like a stock random guy, not an experienced and unhinged genius. His grammar is fixed but his accent is also gone which just makes him sound less unique. I don't blame the VA, he did great as the Lego Joker but he was just miscast here

The grand councilwoman is done so dirty already. In the original she sounds genuenly hopeful Stitch can show signs of goodness and be spared. Nope, here she's so monotone it's like she's obligated to ask him to say something

She doesn't ask for an expert, Pleakely comes running in himself. In a cowboy hat for some reason. She also has a bizarre amount of modern slang like "crikey" and "you're kidding" which feels extremely out of character and forced

She also gets Stitch's biology wrong? "Water increases his molecular density" the fuck it doesn't, HIS OWN molecular density is great, which makes him sink. He's dense, that's the point. Water doesn't affect him he just can't swim cause he's heavy

She doesn't seem to care about her own people because she doesn't tell no one to back away from Stitch's ship when he engages hyperdrive. Which in the original was also a built up dangerous thing he did, here it's blink and you'll miss it. We don't even see him properly escape anything. The guns just blow up the door, we see him running down a hall for 2 seconds, next time we see Stitch he's on the ship, that's it

Pleakley is excited to go to earth and Jumba is the one who SUGGESTS it, he basically blackmails the grand councilwoman, saying he'll capture 626 in exchange for his lab back. Pointless changes that only serve to make the story less impactful and more childish. And this whole thing goes by in 5 minutes, in the original I swear it was at least twice as long. (Edit: I checked, it is twice as long)

The social worker scene, completely different, no "my friends need to be punished" line. Overall just, worse version of the original, not much to say

Nani is now outright stated to be studying to be a marine biologist instead of the subtle environmental storytelling of her being a champion surfer from the original. Not a bad idea? But it should've been more subtle, so far it feels like this movie thinks you're stupid and need to be told everything, despite supposedly being "the more mature version for adults"

David is cringe now and that's his whole joke. He's not really endearing anymore

Stitch wrecking his own spaceship is just stupid

Lilo and Nani's argument and subsequent make up talk have absolutely zero impact compared to the original. The constellation thing is cute I guess

When Nani is being shoved out the room so Lilo can make a wish, she didn't even fall on Lilo, and Lilo's wish is worded much worse than the original. More long winded. Stitch coming out from the crash site is SO UGLY compared to the original

If I had a nickel for every movie that's got a blue CGI character crashing a wedding and Uptown funk in the soundtrack I'd have two nickles. Which isn't a lot but at least SONIC 2 WAS A GOOD MOVIE

Lilo meets Stitch. MISSED. THE POINT. OF THE SCENE. ENTIRELY.

First of all he's supposed to go "Haaaiii" after he heard Lilo way hi to him first. How the fuck does he know to say hi when all she did was scream? Second, he's tiny, Lilo picks him up. He's supposed to be so dense adults can barely hold him, how the hell is Lilo just, carrying him around? And if it's water that makes him heavy for real. Then that's just stupid

Also love how no one is freaking out about it, the lady working there casually leashes him and sounds so disinterested. Every person in the movie (except Lilo she's doing very well) sound like they don't wanna be there

They're giving Nani less to do and making her worse. In the original, they were at the dog shelter because she heard Lilo's wish and wanted to make it come true. Now its the neighbour taking Lilo, and not even to the shelter, not to adopt a dog, they just kinda. Do. Without Nani's permission which is another problem

Cobra being CIA and involving the authorities as a whole is. Dumb

Oh so Nani came up with the name Stitch. Wonderful. One stupid decision after another

"I read her text messages." People in present day still keep diaries there was no need to change that. Hello fellow kids ass line

Nani being mean to Lilo after losing the job and making it very clear it's Lilo's fault, instead of comforting her and going along with her bug imagination. Way to ruin the best big sister in your history, Disney

They turned the "Ohana means family" scene comedic. WHO THE FUCK THOUGHT THAT WAS A GOOD IDEA AND WHICH SLUG-BRAINED MORON APPROVED IT?

Nani being a jackass again. "We were left behind" that's exactly what you say to your grieving 6yo sister about the parents who tragically passed, Nani, way to go. Makes it sound like they ditched them on purpose

Telling us about the room full of trophies instead of showing us. This movie is for babies in a way the original never was

Stitch spelling out he has no family instead of the again, much more mature and subtle dialogue of the original

The teaching Stitch hula thing was alright I guess

Nani doesn't even see Stitch being a record player is lame. Followed up with a fart joke

Remix of Hawaiian Rollercoaster ride is worse than the original in both sound and placement. It was a personal moment for the family. To take their minds off the bad day of not finding jobs. Now it's just. Full of tourists, and Nani teaching/being at her job

Also Stitch being the one to ask to go in the water first. Goes against the story, he's supposed to be shown it's OK first, by being taken in by Lilo. But no, just sees a dog, decides he wants to. FUCKING STUPUD

Whole hospital insurance thing seems so showhorned in. Not having a job was reason enough for that contract

And Stitch not being directly blamed for it. Again. Zero. Impact. They've literally turned this into a stock "CG character stuffed into a plot with live humans" movie. And it's disgusting to watch

Jumba is turning into a villain. Lame. His dynamic with Pleakely is also fucked

The hammock scene is again just. A worse version of the original, I don't know what to say at this point. This whole movie is somehow so fast and so sluggish at the same time, it's impressive how bad the pacing is

Stitch doesn't even see the ugly duckling book, doesn't talk to Lilo, doesn't go to the woods with the ducks just. Goes to his crate??? For some reason??

And LILO finds HIM. NAH, missed thr entire point, AGAIN

Wedgie joke, butt joke. More completely unnecessary childish humor

The portal gun is an alright gimmick but. Meh. And no song playing over it. So immediately less memorable scene. Elvis as a whole is very absent from this movie

NAH WE AIN'T DOING A LIAR REVEALED WITH STITCH, WHAT EVEN IS THIS MOVIE

Stitch himself feels like a non character in his own movie somehow, he's just there to be a dog, a cute CG character to sell merch. So many of his important scenes are missing or so watered down it barely feels like the same character

Reference to the other experiments is neat but thats not how 627 is made, you can't just turn one experiment into another

Cobra being the one who turns and helps them. Stupid. He was supposed to be a good guy the entire time

The climax is so anticlimactic compared to the original too. Painfully obvious they were out of a budget

Lilo having to leave Stitch to drawn should hit hard. It doesn't. That thing spent the whole movie being annoying, stiffly animated, and frankly I don't care if it drowns. That's not Stitch. It's a badly made imitation

Oh and now they're recussitating him. With jumper cables. And he threw up the important family photo. This isn't Lilo and stitch. In writing, acting, or soul. And I swear they're reusing voice lines for Stitch in some scenes

The reason for Stitch staying before was such a beautiful simple solution. He was adopted, as a pet, he's Lilo's. But now. Overcomolicated, stupid, and again, the councilwoman used to geneunly want to give Stitch a chance and let him stay. Now she seems much more reluctant and it doesn't work as well. The mosquito thing didn't come up, Stitch doesn't let his antenna and extra limbs out for Lilo to see

David is being so fucking stupid- they turned one of the best Disney men into an annoying stock moron. Oh and Nani doesn't have a job and can't be in charge of Lilo. Sure putting her with the neighbours and letting Nani go study is fine, I guess? But it isn't nowhere near satisfying and misses the entire point of Nani's character

Not sure if there's anything past the credits, I didn't watch those.

[agreeewrites]

Out of the weasley brothers who do you think is the biggest fool when in love

impossible question they're all idiots

just kidding here's the order I think they'd fall into from least to most foolish (they are so close that I went back and forth on the order multiple times 😂)

1. Bill - he's a grown man. he knows how to handle himself in almost all circumstances and it takes a lot to get him flustered. he's also not a cheesy sort of romantic, he's more intense. he's tends to be more serious and knows exactly what he wants (and how to get it). he's going to outright tell you how he feels, no games, no bullshit. he can be possessive and jealous, though, a little rough around the edges, so mind his teeth.

2. Fred - is he foolish or insane? no telling. but he's giving 10000% into getting and keeping the person he loves. Rules and societal norms be damned. And he's not giving up until the fat lady sings, and he'll duct tape her mouth shut if he has to. single-minded, blind determination is the name of the game, and once he has you, you would not believe the ego on this boy. he'll be smug for a year. careful not to let his ego scare you off. he may talk like it's all about him, but at the end of the day, you're his entire universe.

3. Percy - Percy is the "I like you so I'm ignoring you" type, which is foolish. He sees romance as a frivolous distraction, and it would take some time for him to let that go and accept that he's in love. 9 times out of 10, the person gives up or loses interest before Percy figures out his shit. if Percy does manage to get you, he'll be a giddy, nervous wreck for six months because he never thought he'd get this far. he's eternally grateful that you gave him enough water and sunshine to finally grow.

4. George - the rizzler. charm on 10000. you fell in love with him first (but he fell in love harder). but as soon as he has you, all the suave and charm goes out the window. he's an absolute lovesick puppy, the biggest simp. anyone and everyone knows that he's in love and who with because his brain turns off when they're around. he just can't help himself when it comes to the person he loves, and he will walk face backwards off a cliff if you asked him to. please don't ask him to.

5. Charlie - Mr. One Night Stand. Mr. Fast and Loose. but when he actually falls in love, he's goner. done for. someone call a minister because Charlie is halfway down the aisle. he's 100000% committed from the start. saying I love you on the second date. he's all in, so buckle up buttercup because Charlie is a wild animal with a sweet tooth, and you're the prettiest dessert he's ever seen.

6. Ron - Ron is a lot like Percy in this way, he's in denial that he has feelings. But instead of ignoring you, he's going to pick on you, pull your hair, drive you up the wall because he thinks it's hot when you tell him off. he has the emotional range of a teaspoon, so he's going to be very dumb and very clumsy in the process of sorting out his feelings, and make a lot of mistakes in the process. but he will be the fiercest protector and most loyal friend you could ask for, just have patience.

[wavesoutbeingtossed]

The TTPD Deep Dive (Part ?)

It’s no secret that I have a lot of Thoughts about The Tortured Poets Department and it has lived rent-free in my head since it came out earlier this year. I’m absolutely blown away by how underneath the chaos, it’s actually an exceptionally cohesive story and is probably the closest to a concept album Taylor has ever done.

There are so many themes that have stood out to me over the last five months, and there’s one in particular that I think not only drives the entire album, but ties into previous albums to help deepen understanding of it.

This is it, my fangirl magnum opus, my months of posts consolidated into one place. This is also my disclaimer that this is just my interpretation of the album, and my summary of the story it tells, and I don’t pretend to have any special insight or authority. I’m not saying I’m correct at all, do not take any of this as fact, it’s just what it sounds like to me, and these are my silly not-so-little thoughts about it.

(Under a cut because it’s way too long and involves discussion many may not care for or be sick of.)

Come one, come all, it's happening again (I'm thinking too hard about Taylor music)

The overarching theme in TTPD to me is: Grief. If you’re looking at TTPD as a story being told (instead of just as someone’s real life), the inciting incident of TTPD is loss, and the grief from that loss is what drives the narrator’s actions and the fallout, as well as unpacks those complicated feelings and how they apply to the her life in general. By the end of the standard album, it’s also about recovering from that pain, moving on from it and learning from it.

The loss specifically is the loss of the dream of having a family (with one’s partner). One thing that is abundantly clear both on the top line and under the surface in TTPD is how Taylor (as a person and as narrator) longed not only to for marriage but specifically parenthood, and the fear and then realization of losing that chance absolutely wrecked her— which is why the next lover’s (the conman's) wooing worked so well, because it preyed on that yearning. Yet that loss also dovetails into the grief of many things: of youth, of idealism, of relationships, of ideas, even of self, which causes almost a deconstruction of a belief system to piece one’s life back together by the end.

THE CONTEXT

TTPD weaves in the topics of marriage and motherhood both explicitly and in the subtext, in various forms and scenarios. The cheating husband in “Fortnight.” The wedding ring line in “TTPD” the song. “He saw forever so he smashed it up” in “My Boy Only Breaks His Favorite Toys.” All of “So Long, London.” Running away with her wild boy in “But Daddy I Love Him,” fantasizing about weddings and joking about babies. The imaginary rings in “Fresh Out The Slammer.” The cheating husband (again) and the friends who smell like weed or “little babies” in “Florida!!!” “You and I go from one kiss to getting married,” “Talking rings and talking cradles,” and “our field of dreams engulfed in fire” in “loml.” (And arguably: “I wish I could un-recall how we almost had it all.”) “He said he’d love me all his life, but that life was too short,” in “I Can Do It With A Broken Heart.” They may not sound like much on their own, but they paint a picture about how the topics pervaded her thoughts and her writing, and in many cases express her desires, and her pain.

It’s something that goes back several albums when you pick up on context clues. You get the first hints on Reputation with “New Year’s Day,” and “you and me forevermore.” Then Lover is very forward with it: “Lover” is basically wedding vows, “Paper Rings” is very engagement-coded, “I Think He Knows” is cheeky but low-key “you better put a ring on it,” “It’s Nice To Have A Friend” has wedding/marriage imagery in the last verse. As a self-professed diaristic writer, it’s the type of stuff one presumably doesn’t put out there unless those conversations have already happened, and she was very excited about it at the time it was released.

Then the pandemic happens and folklore comes out, and while there is still happy love there (“invisible string”), there are also the first indications that something has happened to put a halt to whatever future she once dreamed of (“hoax,” “the lakes”) and that she’s trying to reassure herself and him that it can still happen even if she’s scared it might not (“peace”). Notably, as far as I can remember it’s the first time Taylor explicitly brings up the idea of family (with her partner) with “you know that I’d give you my wild, give you a child,” which stood out at the time because it’s so incredibly vulnerable, but it’s even more poignant when you really take in that the whole song is like a confession of her deepest worries, and this is her vowing to give him these things that she holds most sacred if he’ll let her. These are what she cherishes most dearly and wants to return in kind: her youth and commitment (my wild), the family she craves (a child), unconditional support (swing for the fences/sit in the trenches) and understanding/compassion (silence that only comes when two people know each other).

Evermore follows an even darker path, and suddenly the album explores relationships that end and grappling with loss. There are toxic relationships (“tolerate it”), dangerous marriages (“no body, no crime,” “ivy”), failing/broken relationships (“Coney Island,” “champagne problems,” “happiness,” “‘tis the damn season”), as well as grief (“Marjorie,” “evermore”). Even some of the happy songs have uncertainty in them: in “willow” she’s begging for him to take her lead, like she’s still trying to decipher him and ask him to commit; in “cowboy like me,” still a beautiful love song, she’s thinking, “this wasn’t supposed to work and we were supposed to bail on each other but we fell in love instead”; “evermore” is about the depths of severe depression (and more) with the love story being the one saving grace in her darkest hour. And it’s also notable that after all the “fiction” writing, shortly after this album she writes “Renegade” where she’s telling the subject: I’m ready to start the next phase of our life now, why aren’t you? Is it me you don’t want after all? It’s like there’s something telling her that this stall might not just be a stall.

Midnights is a jumble (in a good, but in hindsight, also sad way) with the “sleepless nights” concept, but it seems pretty clear now that the themes and events and relationships she was revisiting tied into a lot of what she was feeling in her present life. I wrote the cliff notes version awhile back, but she’s questioning so much of her life that’s reflected in past events and relationships. Am I actually always the problem? How did we lose sight of each other and what we had? We only seem to work when we block out everyone and everything else. Can we ever go back to when things were good? Why are you neglecting me? I once thought I was going to lose everything but you saved me in the nick of time, can that happen again? I chased my career, but did I give up my chance at having a family in the process? Nobody knows what I really suffer from behind closed doors and I’m all alone.

And so on, which in retrospect now that we have TTPD, is very much what she was grappling with in private while writing and releasing the album. The inspiration behind the songs may have been different events and muses, but regardless of their origins they all end up feeling too familiar, like she's seen this film before (ahem). We’re seeing her view of commitment change too, or rather how she writes about it: she’s not making the outright declarations of it like on Lover, or even the implied ones on folklore, nor is she talking of the dark side of it like evermore. For the most part it’s a return to the early days of some relationships, before things got hard, or the end of them when there was nothing left, and also pushing away the discussion of it altogether by the outside world. “Sweet Nothing” is a sweet slice of life, but even at that, it’s the peace of the home in conflict with the pressure of the outside world. Now that we have “You’re Losing Me,” which was written at the same time as the rest of the album, we can probably deduce that she was going back to the start because something happened that made her doubt the future.

THE SETUP

So much of Midnights directly ties into TTPD, and I said in the post I linked that it’s like Midnights is asking the questions that TTPD answers. But there’s one song in particular on Midnights that sticks out to me as being key in the broadest sense to understanding the state of mind that led to the events of TTPD, and that’s “Bigger Than The Whole Sky,” because the way it expresses grief is reflected in the theme of mourning a life built and the dreams along with it that are never realized in TTPD. There are several instances in TTPD that are basically variations of: “every single thing to come has turned into ashes,” and that’s what makes her snap, and leaves her vulnerable to someone who promises her those things when she’s bereaved at losing them in the first place. (In other words: “the deflation of our dreaming leaving me bereft and reeling.”) The song tells a story about how that loss of hope colours one’s entire mindset, and in some ways is a bridge to TTPD to understand what such a low point feels like.

I think that that grief, and most importantly losing hope for an imagined future in its wake, is fundamental to understanding TTPD on so many levels: both the decline with one partner that kept her hanging on then led her such a dark path, and why she fell for the conman's apparent bullshitting because it offered an express pass to what she was losing with her partner. And I also feel like it plays a part into the ruminating she’s doing all over Midnights, trying to make sense of where she finds herself when she’s writing the album, which directly leads to “You’re Losing Me.” Loss permeates so many of the stories on Midnights: of lovers, of innocence, of youth, of faith, of control, of life’s work, etc. “BTTWS” is just one of the ways in which it is expressed so fully, capturing that deep depression and subsequent extinction of faith in something that once felt assured and very much wanted. (Which is also mentioned in her writing process in the “Depression” playlist on Apple Music.)

If you understand why that feeling of loss in general across so many parts of life is so important to Midnights, then it illuminates so much about the “narrative” in TTPD too. If on Midnights she’s wrestling with the seeds of grief and loss (on multiple fronts), TTPD is her reckoning with it in its full form. “So Long, London” is the song that is the most explicit about it: How much sad did you think I had in me? How much tragedy? Just how low did you think I’d go before I’d have to go be free? You swore that you loved me, but where were the clues? I died on the altar waiting for the proof. It’s the sequel to “You’re Losing Me.” It’s, the air is thick with loss and indecision, I know my pain is such an imposition, I’m getting tired even for a phoenix, all I did was bleed as I tried to be the bravest soldier, I’ve got nothing left to believe unless you’re choosing me, my heart won’t start anymore, but from the other side of the break.

This is highly speculative, but if you follow the thread about the topic and the relationship as told from Rep through TTPD, in broad strokes it goes: young love with a serious connection (Rep) -> growing up and making life plans (Lover) -> something happens that delays those plans or makes them grind to a halt (folklore) -> serious doubts arise and cause a loss of faith in their future (evermore) -> struggling with the loss of that future and trying to make sense of the problems in a last ditch attempt to save the relationship (Midnights) -> fallout from that grief after the blowup of the relationship (TTPD). Understanding that progression of events (through the music) explains not only the storytelling side of TTPD (e.g. the jump from the partner to the conman) but also how the experiences/muses blend in the music, and how the music that on the surface is about the short-term relationship is really driven by the destruction of the long-term one.

Following the music, it’s IMO implied that Taylor (the narrator) was holding out for marriage and family with her partner, for years, and it seems like it was at one point a shared dream until something happened to pump the brakes, and seemingly on her partner’s end. And extrapolating further, given how the sorrow expressed in former albums bleeds into TTPD, it sounds like a plan that had been concrete in some form before it had fallen apart, and losing something that once felt so tangible is what drives her in her grief to find any kind of respite from the pain. Which is why the situation with the conman becomes so appealing as the one with the partner splinters further and further.

(If everything you’ve once touched is sick with sadness and you don’t want to be sad anymore, what are you left to do?)

THE STORY

So (one part of) the story kind of sounds like this from the standard album: the relationship with her partner as well as his mental health slowly deteriorate and he withdraws emotionally (“London,” “Fresh Out The Slammer”) and physically (again, “London,” and “Guilty As Sin?”) and takes his resentment out on her (“London” and arguably “My Boy Only Breaks His Favorite Toys” even though I don't want to get into muse speculation here). As she sinks deeper into her own depression as a result, the weight of the failing relationship starts feeling like a cage— or a noose (“London,” “Guilty”), but coming to terms with the loss of their life together and the future they’d dreamed of was killing her (again, “London,” but also “I Can Do It With A Broken Heart”).

Enter the conman who she reconnects with at the very point where this is coming to a head (knowing that IRL she reconnected with him around the time Midnights was being worked on) , and if you read between the lines, she confides some deeply personal things to him (“Down Bad” and “hostile takes overs”/“encounters closer and closer,” “Smallest Man” and the entire sleeper cell spy imagery which is one of my favourite things and I could write a whole essay about the meaning of it, “loml” and “A con man sells a fool a get-love-quick scheme”). Then after she’s confided these secrets to him, he insinuates himself back into her life (“Guilty,” “Down Bad,” “Smallest Man”) and sells her a dream that HE can give her all these things she hopes for (again, “Down Bad,” “Smallest Man,” “loml,” song “TTPD,” “Broken Heart”).

But the thing is, he only knows these are the things she wants because she’s revealed it to him, and presumably, told him that was what she was losing by staying with her partner. And instead of the normal response of, “that is really sad that your partner is not supporting you and you deserve to be treated better,” to a friend in growing distress, it seems like it was, “well I can give you all those things!!!! Right now!!!! Trust me!!!!” And worked on her until she believed it, and jumped at the chance at a precarious time in her life. And one thing I want to underscore is: Taylor has agency in the situation always, it’s not like she’s been kidnapped and brainwashed. (In fact, she implores on songs like “But Daddy” that SHE is in charge of her own choices, good or bad.) She chose to rekindle the friendship and then relationship, and she chose to eventually leave her long term relationship for another man, and she reiterates on the album that she owns this all. But it’s also: nothing exists in a vacuum, and she makes choices based on emotions and information she has at the time, which is why it gives so much whiplash.

THE ALBUM

When you look at it as, the situation with the conman only happens because of what happened with the partner first and that the appeal of the conman and the fantasy he sells her is a direct reaction to that, it makes the “swirliness” of the music make so much more sense. And for much of it, even many of the “conman” songs on the surface are really “partner” songs underneath.

Fortnight

A suburban gothic allegory about a broken marriage with a distant husband with a wandering eye, which makes the rekindled romance with the neighbor so appealing. She’s miserable caged in her stifling house because she’s been abandoned by her spouse, so the reappearance of this past love reignites the passion that’s dead at home.

TTPD

“So tell me, who else is gonna know me?” “I chose this cyclone with you.” I’m gonna kill myself if you ever leave. Everyone knows we’re crazy. She’s laying it out there that she’s already in a dangerous state of mind, and she’s actively putting herself in more danger by pursuing the conman. “At dinner you take my ring off my middle finger and put it on the one people put wedding rings on, and that’s the closest I’ve come to my heart exploding,” spells this whole thing out so clearly: whether it’s an actual event (likely) or a metaphor for the promise he makes to her, the reason why it makes her heart explode is because it’s the thing she’s been waiting for forever with no movement, and here this person comes in and slips it on her finger in an instant like it’s nothing. (And eventually, as we’ll come to know, it is absolutely nothing to him.) You mean it could have been this easy this whole time?! (Well, no. Not until a certain other suitor makes his appearance later.) It feels like she’s finally getting everything she wanted in the blink of an eye! How lucky! How convenient! What was that about the get-love-quick scheme you say? (Unsaid: the reason why this feels so urgent is because there’s a sense that time is running out in so many aspects of her life and not just the obvious. Which reappears later on.)

Down Bad

“Did you really beam me up in a cloud of sparkling dust just to do experiments on?” sets the scene for this euphoric experience in the moment that starts to feel violating once the dust settles (which is then followed up in “Smallest Man” and the spy mission on her). The bridge spells out how he weaselled his way into her life, preyed upon (intentionally or not) her emotional state, sold her a dream and then vanished, without the benefit of hindsight yet we see later in the album.

The alien abduction metaphor is pretty brilliant, because it shows both how she was desperate to escape the place she found herself in, and how much it screwed her brain to then be left stranded when the affair was over. “[I loved your] hostile takeovers, encounters closer and closer,” is so evocative because it details how the situation came to be: his overtures under the guise of friendship blurred lines until he made her an offer that she eventually couldn’t refuse (hostile takeovers) as he infiltrated her life more and more intimately. The sad thing is that the song has parallels to how her relationship with the partner started too in earlier albums, in that they ran away to live in their own bubble (or planet) only for him to metaphorically abandon her as the years went on. (Oven, meet microwave.)

My Boy Only Breaks His Favorite Toys

Being continually emotionally broken down by a person who knows he’s hurting you but still acts the way he does. (The original voice memo version makes this even clearer and it’s rather heartbreaking.) “He saw forever so he smashed it up,” speaks to the loss of a future the person became scared of, and the original lyrics (“he saw forever so he blew it up”) somehow cut even deeper to me because it feels so much more intentional.

Also in the original version, “he was my best friend and that was the worst part,” also speaks not only to the loss of an entire partnership in the wake of this hurt, but also to the feelings of betrayal that the person you trust so deeply has the ability to hurt you in this way too, and how it’s a one-two punch of not only losing the relationship but also your closest confidant. (It’s like the sequel to “Renegade” and the missiles firing to me.) Again, there are shades of both/many situations in the song, pointing to an unfortunate pattern in some ways. The situation in “My Boy” is part of why she was so low, and why the “get love quick scheme” was so appealing later on. And it dovetails nicely into…

So Long, London

The most explicitly “partner” song that puts a coda on “You’re Losing Me,” and is Track 5 because it’s the emotional underpinning of how she got to where she was, and drives the events of the rest of the album. It spells everything out: He withdrew, she tried to fix it for both of them, eventually even that stopped working, he was oblivious to or minimized how badly she was suffering and his (in)actions couldn’t reassure her, he wouldn’t move forward on their future plans and stewed in his own struggles, she was spiralling out of control trying to hang on and ultimately felt like she was going to die if she didn’t leave.

But Daddy I Love Him

Like a direct reaction to “So Long, London” in that she breaks free from the death of one relationship and throws herself with reckless abandon to the next, fuck the haters. How dare you judge me, when the relationship you think I should have stayed in was killing me? (Dutiful daughter all the plans were laid. All you want is gray for me.) Fuck all of you, I’m going to choose whoever I want! (So what if I have a baby with HIM, huh?! I tried doing it the proper way and look where that got me so now we're back to square one) It’s again her imagining how wonderful and freeing this “wild boy” is going to be for her, and how wrong she’ll prove everyone. THIS TIME she definitely got it right. So what if she has to run away! So what if she scandalizes the whole town! They don’t know what she really wants or needs anyway! She’s the only one of her (hee-hee-hee) and she’s the only who gets to decides how this goes. (Because: she longs for control in a situation she’ll eventually realize she has little of it in, which we’ll find out is a recurring theme in her life.)

Fresh Out The Slammer

Also spells out what happened with the partner in the first verse and the pre-choruses, which is what makes the conman so appealing as the imagined jailbreak. The bitter loneliness vs. the sultry passion she builds up in her head as she awaits her release from prison is key to understanding the two sides of the story in the album. There’s this whole outlaw imagery (which is also carried through in “I Can Fix Him”), but it’s contrasted in the end with her and her reunited lover sitting on park swings like children with “imaginary rings” — because “Ain't no way I'm gonna screw up now that I know what's at stake.” What’s at stake is lasting love and the promises that come with it (marriage/family) that are precious and time-sensitive. The imaginary rings are both a nod to the youthful dreams of her and her new/old lover, but also has a double meaning to me because those promises aren’t built on anything together; they're made up, intangible. (They’re no more concrete than the plans that went up in smoke with the partner.) Like with most of the conman situation, it’s all a fantasy in her head that has yet to happen, and as we find out later in the album, reality ends up leaving much to be desired.

Florida!!!

Broadly speaking, it’s running away from your problems and wanting to disappear from your life. (But again: the life she’s disappearing from is the cheating husband she may or may not be feeding to the swamp-- another miserable marriage.) What kind of flies under the radar though is the “I don’t want to exist,” line, which points to her dire state of mind that led her to fleeing to that metaphorical timeshare down in Destin. In many ways about cheating death.

Guilty As Sin

Yes it’s the “masturbation song,” but again the nuance is that she’s left to pleasure herself because her partner has abandoned her emotionally and even physically, i.e. “my boredom’s bone deep.” To be blunt: they aren’t even intimate anymore, so she starts fantasizing about the guy she used to have chemistry with who’s reentered her life and is making moves on her. And realizing that she’s now finding release in another man (albeit imaginary) breaks her even as it reinvigorates her because she finally understands that the relationship she’s in is effectively dead. (“Am I allowed to cry?”)

Who’s Afraid of Little Old Me

This isn’t about relationships, but about society and its reaction to them in a general sense. But again, she’s left to stew in all this anger and hurt as she’s been abandoned at home, then abandoned by public opinion, and the public attack on her is part of the origin as well as the end of that story. The trauma inflicted upon her detailed in the song is the reason why she felt trapped in the first place, which led to the decisions she’s made and habits she’s leaned on ever since.

I Can Fix Him (No Really I Can)

This is one of the few songs that is the most completely conman-coded, and shows when the delusion finally breaks at the end of the song. She spends the whole song being like, “no really, I alone can make him better! You’ll see! I know he’s gross, but he’s mine! It’ll be fine I swear! You don’t know anything! Uuuuuum hmm wait actually what the fuck—“

Loml

Oof. THE song. Again the surface reading is about the “conman” who comes in and sells her the lie, but the pain is because all the dreams she writes about are HER dreams and implied that they were the dreams she built with her partner that the conman sold back to her. I could do a deeper dive on this but most of the song is applicable to both relationships, which not only shows the “swirliness” of her writing, but also how they both ultimately did the same thing to her in different shades.

The bridge and the last chorus are kind of fundamental to understanding it all, and her ending it with “you’re the loss of my life” is about, among other things, how falling for this trap blew up the life she built and dreamed of for good. (I could talk about this one forever.) “You shit-talked me under the table, talking rings and talking cradles” to “Our field of dreams engulfed in fire” is a hell of a line and progression, and again, indicative of what the real driving force behind the whole album is. The shit-talking is because he took her dreams (of marriage and children) and hyped it back up to her tenfold whether in a moment of his own delusion or for more nefarious reasons — much like how the man prior kept promising these things but never followed through, which left her vulnerable to someone who appeared to offer them enthusiastically. The field of dreams isn’t just the one with the conman, it’s the one with the longterm relationship she’d built the dream with in the first place, because the conman’s actions are part of the reason the LTR went up in smoke. (Not the reason for the rift, but the consequence of the final break.) And THAT is why it’s the loss of her life, so completely.

When she says “I wish I could un-recall how we almost had it all,” IMO it’s not just the fake future that the conman lures her into, but also (and perhaps mainly) the once-real one she had with her partner and the loss of which that made her susceptible to falling for the con in the first place. There’s honestly so much between the lines in this song that covers every theme and speaks to the grief of seeing the life she imagined slip away, slowly by the first man then annihilated by the second.

I Can Do It With a Broken Heart

The juxtaposition of “He said he’d love me all his life, but that life was too short” and “He said he’d love me for all time, but that time was quite short” sums it up to me (and parallels “loml”), because they are two different situations, but they cut her just the same. In the first, “that life” IMO was the life they’d built with the dreams that went along with it and it was too short because he never followed through, and in the second, the “time” was quite short because it was the frenzy of the whirlwind romance that fizzled as quickly as it began. The life that was too short led to the time that was quite short.

The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived

This is definitely THE conman song. The rage, the shame, the violation, it’s all in there. But the key to it is the bridge and the espionage imagery woven through it. A honeypot scheme is when spies target a mark and seduce them to gain their trust and their privileged information for their homeland. So her likening him to a sleeper cell spy who set her up just to mine her deepest secrets and use them against her is a heavy, loaded statement. And implied: that valuable information she unknowingly held were her longings of marriage and family (the aforementioned shit-talking about rings and cradles she never got to have), and more importantly, those dreams preceded him reentering her life and then beginning his mission on her.

The insinuation then is: she confesses these are her deepest wishes which are now seemingly unattainable in her current situation (e.g. with her partner) -> he convinces her HE will give them to her and make the dreams she pines for come true -> she falls for him and blows up her life to make it happen -> he gets what he wants (thrill of the chase/sex/the idea of her/whatever his intent was) -> he abandons her when he gets what he wants, or rather it isn’t what he wants or can handle -> she’s left a) all alone b) with dreams unfulfilled c) with no answers d) feeling used at having her most sacred wishes used against her.

Again, the song is unquestionably about the way the conman absolutely destroyed her, but he was able to do that because there was this thing she wanted more than anything, that was dying in her previous relationship, that he was able to prey upon to seduce her, then discarded her and her dreams as soon as it was inconvenient for him while absolutely hollowing her inside out. (And again: the devastating thing is that this also applies to other relationships she’s written about, in different ways.)

The Alchemy

Not about either the partner or the conman directly, but it (loosely) touches on her finding herself after the whole oven-to-microwave experience and opening herself up to life and love again. #GoodForHer

Clara Bow

This isn’t about the romantic relationships on the surface, but it is about how damaging the entertainment industry and public life are on women, and how women are only valued for their beauty as commodities until they can be discarded and destroyed in the process. Which I think plays into the circumstances that led her to make the decisions that she did years ago, and why she makes the ones she does now. (But also, being valued for physical traits and appeal for the male gaze brings us to…)

The Manuscript

The “original sin” that kicks off all of this. Again, at first light this isn’t about the partner or the conman, but the person it is about is the reason why she has made all the decisions she has ever since in relationships (and that’s Mr. Plaid Shirt Days from “All Too Well”). The realization that her first serious adult relationship is what cemented these patterns, and this view of herself and her worthiness in relationships, is profoundly sad. An older man who valued her for being so mature for her age and implying that the mature activities ahem associated with that were the performance benchmarks in her ability to carry a relationship, only to leave her, was earth shattering. She placed her faith in this person, but then the way he treated her changed her view of love and of herself.

She took his innuendo about “pushing strollers” as a sign of potential commitment, whereas he ultimately meant it as foreplay, and she was too young and naive to know the difference. So not only did she learn from that that this man (and men) didn’t view commitment and family the way she did and that it was something to be toyed with, but she also learned that her value to them among other things was sex. Imagine being an idealistic 20 year old and your boyfriend ten years your senior tells you, “if the sex is anywhere near as good as our dates have been, we’re going to be making babies before you know it,” (e.g. this is relationship is serious) and then he dumps you: does that imply that the sex was not in fact that good? (E.g. that you’re not worthy after all?)

No, obviously from this side of life, it’s because he was a commitment-phobic playboy, even if he did love her, but she couldn’t have known that at 20 and instead internalized that shame. But, it did send her on a path of how she approached sex and love and relationships for over a decade afterwards. And her coming to the realization that that first act of (perhaps unintentional) manipulation is what informed her actions thereafter helped her break the pattern. Her worth to men is not just sex, she has value and her hopes and dreams have value, she doesn’t have to change into a different person to please anyone, because if that is what they want, they won’t ever want her anyway.

It’s been described here on Tumblr by people more eloquent and astute than I as a song that encapsulates the album as this: one did it slow (partner), one did it fast (conman), and one did it first (first love)— and that is haunting. After years of men minimizing her dreams and desires, if not outright using them against her, she’s finally at the point where she can let it all go and move on for good. (There’s a whole other tangent about consent and shame and manipulation, but that’s an entirely different kind of discussion. But it is so devastatingly contrasted with “you said if we had been closer in age maybe it would have been fine, and that made me want to die.”)

THE SUMMATION

This is just my interpretation of it, but in going through the standard album, it feels pretty clear how cohesive the album is about a story of love and loss and grief, then reckoning with what caused it all in the first place that set a person on this path. It’s a formative experience at a young age that was traumatic and led to certain coping mechanisms and a shaping of one’s self-perception, as well as the reaction to external pressures that try to dictate behaviours and influence how one feels one deserves out of love which makes it harder to know when one absolutely deserves more and better. And leaves one struggling to cope with loss when there isn’t anything else to hold onto. Then in light of one’s life blowing up, learning to find oneself in the aftermath all over again.

On another tangent that is somewhat related to the theme of loss, the way she writes about the two main muses on the standard album also ties into how the situations converged to create absolute carnage on her emotional and mental well-being. With one situation, she’s talking about a concrete life that crumbles under the weight of their struggles; with the other, the entire thing is a fantasy that she builds up in her head, and when it comes to fruition it falls far, far short.

If you look at the “microwave” (conman) relationship, you realize that almost everything she writes about it happens before it actually becomes reality, and it’s mostly her imagining how great it’ll be, but with few exceptions, when she writes about what actually occurred, it doesn’t even come close to living up to her expectations. “Fortnight” is an imagined future where she escapes to Florida and his touch finally starts her stalled engine (ahem). “TTPD” is perhaps the most positive retelling of their time together, but even that implies he was better off stoned and when he sobered up he succumbed to his demons all over again, and more importantly she conveys how she also is in extreme distress, barely concealed by the veneer of being infatuated with him. (E.g. saying to that she’ll kill herself if he ever leaves her — the implication is that she is absolutely serious about it when she “felt seen.”) And that the warning bells are going off in her head, but she feels like this person is the only one she can be with (because they’re equally fucked up and the chaos he brings into her life makes her feel alive when she felt so close to death).

“Down Bad” is the most explicit about being in love, but she’s also left completely confused and disoriented by him disappearing, wondering if any of it was real and the seeds of violation creep into her consciousness (“did you really beam me up in a cloud of sparkling dust just to do experiments on?” “Waking up in blood.”). “But Daddy” is her imagining she can tell everyone to fuck off for telling her what to do with her life. “Fresh Out The Slammer” is her fantasizing about this man while feeling trapped in her relationship — but never in the song is she actually reunited with him; she’s using him as the projection of all the things she’ll make right after being wronged by her partner. “Guilty As Sin?” Is very obviously about her fantasizing about sleeping with him, but again it’s such a minefield for her because it hasn’t happened yet; they’ve only just reconnected. “I Can Fix Him” is the only song other than “TTPD” that shows them actually together, and it’s the one where she keeps saying, essentially, “I know he’s gross but I can rehabilitate him into an upstanding person, trust me,” until the mic drop at the end of the song where it finally hits her that no, she can’t, because this is who he is, not the person she’s built him up to be.

“Loml” is when it all comes crashing down, and the song emphasizes everything he did and told her, e.g. that she’s the love of his life, but she doesn’t return the sentiment in the song about their time together. Because now that it’s past tense, she knows it wasn’t actually love. (And says as much in the album epilogue poem.) “Broken Heart” is her reeling in the aftermath, but again, it’s “he said,” not “I loved.” And then there’s “The Smallest Man,” where she eviscerates him: he also pursued an idea of her but didn’t care much for the real her in front of him (who else is gonna know me?), he love bombed her only to hurt her (crushing her dreams), he was constantly stoned (and not just in the funny munchies kind of way), and he wasn’t even a good lover (despite the fantasy she’d created before). That last point is especially striking because she spent albums singing about the importance of and pleasure in (sexual) intimacy in the relationship with her partner (sometimes to both their own detriment) and how it was at times the only way they could connect, but in this case, the idea she hyped up and acted on in her head about this lover never panned out in practice. She spells it out in the epilogue: it wasn’t a love affair, it was a mutual manic phase.

In contrast, there’s a lot more tangible action in the “oven” (partner) parts of the album, showing how hard she tried to make the relationship work in real life instead of just in her head. All of “So Long, London” is her detailing how she tried to break through to him and support him, even when he rejected it and pushed her away, thinking she could carry them both until they ultimately sank, but she did it because she “loved this place for so long.” (The place? Not just the city, but the home and perhaps most importantly, him.) In “Slammer” she stayed with him even as things disintegrated for “one hour of sunshine.” (E.g. holding onto the rarer good times even as they were fewer and further between, hoping things would eventually turn around.) And like in “London,” she held on despite people in her life pleading with her that it was hurting her. (Which is also echoed in “Slammer.”) In “Guilty” her boredom is “bone deep” because the passion that once drove their relationship (and papered over their problems) has finally gone out too, so there’s nothing left to hold onto, leading to her fantasizing about the new suitor, which makes her realize her relationship has passed the point of no return. “Loml” is about the conman on the surface, but the undercurrent of all the things she says about him is that he was co-opting the dreams that she was clinging onto for dear life in the previous relationship, which is why the con is so painful; the field of dreams he sets ablaze isn’t just the fake painting he sold to her, but the original artifact (her life with her partner) too.

All the physical and emotional labour she puts into the relationship with her partner ends up reflected in the fantasizing she does in the one with the conman, which is why it is so confusing in the moment and so lethal when he leaves her without any answers. She wants to get married and start a family with her partner which keeps getting stalled; the conman mock-proposes which makes her think he’s immediately serious (“TTPD,” “loml”). She feels caged by having to hide with her partner and shrink herself; the conman promises he’ll stand by her side publicly and let her shine (“Smallest Man”). She sinks into a deep depression in her loneliness as the relationship with her partner careens off a cliff; the conman convinces her they’re meant for each other in a them-against-the-world way (“Down Bad”). The intimacy (in all senses of the word) in her relationship with her partner fizzles; the conman stokes the fire by sending her secret messages and reigniting passion (“Guilty”). She spent years trying to help her partner to no avail; the conman makes her think she has the power to reform him (“loml”). She feels misunderstood by her partner; the conman acts like he’s the (only) one who truly gets her (“TTPD,” “loml”).

In short: there’s nothing that the conman does or says that isn’t a direct response to what her partner did first, and it’s even worse because the conman knew how much her partner’s actions hurt her and he used that privileged information to paint a picture of what he could give her, but in doing so in some ways aimed at her heart with even deadlier accuracy. (I’ve likened it to him borrowing someone else’s life for his own joyride, until he crashes the rental car and flees the scene.) It’s why in the aftermath, the difference in emotions are so different: she feels nothing but rage and violation towards the conman for getting in her head and using her, whereas her feelings towards her partner are more complicated. There’s anger (at her lost youth and being taken for granted), but there’s also sorrow (at their lost life and future), disappointment (that he never could step up the way he’d promised or she’d needed), even compassion (towards his struggles) and a tiny measure of appreciation (for the good times they did share).

When you look at the bigger picture, the story the album paints is just so painfully normal. You have two people (Taylor and her partner) who once loved each other deeply, and despite warning signs early on telling them they have fundamentally different needs and ways of living their lives they fight like hell to make it work (the epilogue) until those warning signs become grenades that destroy their home (“My Boy,” “London,” “Slammer,” arguably “loml”). Having already been through at least one rough patch/break/breakup that she felt almost destroyed her (harkening back to Midnights on “You’re Losing Me,” “The Great War” and “Hits Different”), the final and fatal downward spiral of the relationship (“YLM,” “London”) and the grief over losing that future sends her into a tailspin, just at the time where a flame from the past (the conman) reenters her life and tells her all the things she’s been longing to hear and feel (“TTPD,” “Down Bad,” “Guilty,” “loml”) and, crucially, missing from the relationship that was once her entire life.

So in her panic, she falls prey to the (empty) promises of the past lover (“loml,” “Smallest Man”) and decides he’s actually what will save her from the free fall, because the alternative (that she will end up in a situation she doesn’t think she can survive) is too painful to bear. When she finally acts on these circumstances (leaves her partner/runs to the conman), she snaps, acting on pure emotion and adrenaline (“But Daddy”), but before she knows it, the new lover abandons her, and she’s left to reckon with the fallout of the episode and process everything that has happened (“Down Bad,” “loml”) — with the conman, with her partner, with the choices made in her adult life personally and professionally which leads her back to the moment she feels set her down that road at the start.

The TL;DR of this unintentionally long essay is that the reason the conman affair was so serious was precisely because it was meant to fulfill the promise of what was her life with her partner. To me, a large part of the story is that she projected that life onto the conman (or he projected her life back to her for his own purposes) because she wasn’t ready to deal with that massive grief and the life raft he offered felt like the only alternative to an even darker end. Whether the conman actually believed what he told her, or he went along with it or encouraged it because it served his purpose, we’ll never know, just like we’ll never know the finer details of what went on (nor should we). But no matter what, the album is just an extreme deep dive into all the ways grief can consume us, and whether it’s a long, drawn-out death or a sudden, inexplicable one, it can turn a person’s life into such a trainwreck that they act in ways unfathomable to even them, let alone the people around them. It can also unleash repressed trauma and mental illness that can crater your sense of self. And when those situations are compounded? It makes for a nearly impossible type of breakdown to unpack. (Which is why you might need a 31 song album to process it.)

[amethystfairy1]

🎉 Happy New Years! 🎉

It's been a loooong year so I figured I may as well make a post about it, as well as talk a bit about my plans for 2025! As you know, I tend to ramble, so this got a little long, and maybe sounds a little too much like an Oscars acceptance speech...whoopsie 😅...but from the bottom of my heart I genuinely just felt like I needed to get all these emotions that were emotion-ing today thinking about the New Year out for those of you who have played a part in giving them to me.

If you have a few minutes, please do give it a read through!

The Mushy Stuff:

Firstly, and most importantly beyond a doubt, I want to thank everyone who's been so incredibly kind and supportive of my writing this past year! Every kudos, comment, like, follow, ask, all of them have been treasured by me!

I've had a very difficult year. As I've mentioned before, I'm a full-time masters student. I also work a nearly full-time job on top of that. And while I don't like my blog to have anything to do with my train wreck of an irl life this year, let's just say it hasn't been great...lots of stuff went down, lots of things went wrong, so on and so forth.

Point is, my tippy taps have been crucial to my mental health. I started TTSBC, literally posted the first story 'Pretty Boy' on my very first day as a grad student, sitting there in the office with the knowledge that between school, work, and things happening in my own life, and I'd be having a really rough couple of years to get this degree done.

I finish in May, and I feel confident with my work, I'm ahead of the curve, I'm doing well, and I think that's in no small part because of my tippy taps. These AUs, the writing challenges, the amazing friends I've made and the little community that's somehow decided for whatever reason to form around my obsession with the block people, they've been a very big part of what's kept me going through all of this.

Knowing I could count on people to read my work, to enjoy it, that I could give someone out there something to relate too or even just make them smile if they were feeling as shitty as I was, that made me feel better. It's been so, so important to me.

So thank you. Thank you for following Through the Sky-Blue Cracks and Traveling Thieves. Thank you for screaming over my Whumptober and Febuwhump collections. Thank you for following me, for chasing me and my thoughtful Batman gif around in the asks, for playing along with my goofy-ass side blog, for commenting and kudos-ing and somehow materializing the instant a chapter goes up even before I post the tumblr notif. It means a lot more than I think any words I could come up with would convey.

I also really really really want to thank my Tinted Glass crew!

@silver-sunray This is all your fault. You started this 😤 And by that I mean you made these AUs and me screaming into the void alone so much more than that. It's because of you that I started to fight the fear, scuttle out of my shell and start actually trying to talk to others in this little online sphere. Your incredible work on the Beyond project and now in helping with my side blog and all our other plans and projects mean the world to me! You always have so much spunk and confidence whenever any ideas pop up that I suddenly feel like it's so much more is achievable thanks too you. I'm so very happy you reached out to me this year and I know so much that I've done with my writing wouldn't have happened without you 💖

@boo-the-ahh you're just the sweetest! You always make everything feel so light even when things are complicated or heavy, and you don't even know it! I love getting to work with you on the podfics and our other projects we've been plotting! You're always so full of energy and enthusiasm and encouragement that makes me feel like I can come up with the most whack-ass idea and you'll just back me up, and that's absolutely amazing! I'm so happy you reached out to me and started podficcing for me! Your work is incredible! You put in so much effort, your final products are always so beautifully polished and you always go the extra mile even when it makes things trickier. I admire that so much! And I apologize in advance for the sheer amount of my writing you're probably doomed to have to read out loud in the coming year 😅

@khoirkid You're just a marvel, in my opinion, which I know you don't share but shhhhhhhh. You come up with masterpieces at the drop of a hat, and the fact that you are willing to draw my whack-ass lil guys is still just unfathomable to me. You're always so easy to talk too and down to earth, and you're so creative and imaginative with how you weave symbols into your art with different imagery and color! I feel like half the time the stuff you come up with is so articulate and amazing that it goes over my head, but that's fine! 😆 You're so knowledgable and you have a perspective on things that helps me think things through. I love getting to work with you and I'm so very grateful for all the gorgeous illustrations, and for all the time you've given to me that's made me feel a little less alone.

All three of y'all are just so cool and supportive and talented that most of the time I don't get why you're hanging out over here and giving so much of your time and energy to these projects of mine, but I'm forever grateful that I have you as my friends. So thank you. 💜

Plans for 2025:

Ok, now that I've gotten my emotions all emotion-ed out, let's talk a little bit about my plans for the New Year!

Of course I'll still be continuing TTSBC and TT! No doubt about it! There's big things happening in both the AUs, and I'm so very excited to share them with everyone!

I'll be finishing my degree in May...to be perfectly honest, I'm still unsure of how much of a workload I'm gonna end up having academically this last semester, so I think I'll just say that if updates slow down a bit, just assume Amethyst is drowning under piles of revisions doused in red ink and a bunch of reference texts and papers due to be graded. I promise I'm not gonna just stop tippy tapping! I don't think my brain would be able to handle it if I did 😅

As far as some of the typical challenges go, I will not be participating in Febuwhump this year. I wish I could, but I know I'll definitely have too much going on academically to commit to another writing challenge...also I think Whumptober almost killed both Khoir and I, and we don't need to be doing that again anytime soon 😵‍💫 I'm still gonna check out the prompt list, and if I see a few prompts that I find particularly intriguing maybe I'll write those up, and do a few of the days, but I won't be doing the full writing challenge.

Jury is still out on Hermit-a-Day May, which I'm hopeful will be running again this year! I'd love to do it, but I'll have to make that later, once I know for certain how my workload is feeling since I'll be doing my final revisions, my defense, all that good stuff in late April, which is when I'd typically be working up my fics for Hermit-a-Day May.

I will be doing Whumptober. No questions about it!

I have a few other Hermit/Traffic/Empires fanfic projects on the back burner that I'm working on here or there whenever I need to take a lil break from TTSBC and TT. One of them is a project that all of the Tinted Glass Crew is working on together, and while I don't wanna give spoilers, I'll just say that it's going to be a ton of fun! It's unlike any other AU or one-off I've ever done before, and even just brainstorming it has been incredible so please look forward to it!

I also have my original series. Which...I haven't talked about, not really. I'm pretty nervous about putting it out there, to be honest, but it's my baby and I've been working on it for over four years now. It's written in a similar style to TTSBC and TT, that is, focused on queer romance and found family in a ton of stories all organized in chronological order and written up and down on a timeline. One of my big hopes for this year is to finally share this series. I dunno where yet, or when...it'll definitely wait until after I finish my degree in May, that much is for certain, but I suppose I just wanted to prime everyone. The Tinted Glass Crew has already been so amazingly kind as to agree to help me find a way to get this story that's so dear to me out to all of y'all someway somehow...and I'm confident if I have those guys on my team we'll figure it out! 😅

I hope, if you've enjoyed TTSBC and TT and any of my other work, you'll at least give my original blorbos a shot whenever they are freed from their little cage in my notebooks and save files. They're not so different from the way I write my MCYT characters, they're a bunch of big gay idiots with personality issues, a ton of tangled up secrets, and more trauma than you can shake a stick at...and they're mine, which means I really like to put them through the wringer. 😆 But after everything I've done over this past year and even further back here on this blog, on A03, and in this little community, I feel like maybe they might find themselves a home in at least some of your hearts...or maybe just piss you off with their poor life decisions and accidentally give you brainrot, who knows.

Anyway, this has been a lot. Sorry I tend to ramble...all of this is just to say thank you. I had a lot of fun this year, getting to share my stories with all of you, and I hope you'll continue to support me as I tippy tap my way into the New Year!

-Amethyst

[yaut-jaknowit]

Hi! I like you, you seem so cool. Such a vibe.

So, i might end up writing this eventually BUT the writers block has locked barricaded and blown up any entrance to writing anything beyond poetry for the past numerous months and, honestly, I don't think she (gn) is willing to open up. We've gone to therapy. But she just says she needs time. 🙄 . ANYWAYS, I had this idea, right? Reader and a Yautja who are mates/soulmates, and he is NOT for it. Big no no time. Shuts them down and pushes them away. Thing is, while the pull towards them is intense for him, he doesn't realize that for humans it's, like, a painful experience. They can go a bit without being near their soulmate once they find them, but months? *years*?? Eventually he goes back to earth and something pulls him to go check in them and finds them an absolute wreck. Chronic pain, maybe some of that ✨️classic substance abuse✨️, and absolutely heartbroken because their *soulmate* didn't even want them.

And... that's where the little writer part of my brain walks away.

Anyways, maybe one day I'll write this, but the ADHD part of my brain wants the gratification my writer part just isn't interested in entertaining.

I'd love to see your twist on it, if you'd be interested! If not, I get it (not every request peaks our interest and that's valid, but thought I'd share).

P.S. I just heard an owl for the first time in AGES. Really cool.

Are We Meant to be?

Pairing: Yautja x GN!Reader

Word Count: 2031

Summary: On a walk home from work in a city that wasn't friendly, you stupidly decide to take a shortcut. A shortcut that could cost you your life...

Author Note: Thank you! I'm glad I have good vibes! I might be falling into writers block... Towards the end, it was hard to figure out what to write but I hope this is good for you! I wanted to give you a start so you can finish it yourself!

Masterlist

Ao3

Part 2

When you find your soulmate, it’s said that fireworks go off in your stomach. Then, life is a happy fairytale afterwards. Both souls are drawn to each other by an invisible string. Over time, they’ll be pulled to one another until they meet. From there, life is filled with happiness and complete. You are at height of your life with your soulmate.

So why was the universe cruel to you?

In the concrete jungle that made up your city filled to the brim of people and constant death, you raced back to your little apartment. The minute place you’ve carved out for yourself in a city like this. Something told you to be here, to stay here, no matter what happens. Just a tiny feeling in your cold, hope-filled heart. Maybe, just maybe your soulmate was here. So you endured the life you’ve created here and waited.

Waited for that faithful day they would stumble across your path and boom! Fireworks.

This was a bad idea, your brain shouted as you turned into a dark ally. It was a short cut that would shave off about five minutes. Five minutes closer to your studio apartment. Or lose your life.

A dark figure stepped out from the shadows. In the limited light, you see the way a blade reflects. Shit. Cursing internally, you skid to a stop and started to walk backwards towards the safety of the public street. But footsteps behind you had you pausing where you stood. More curses flew around in your brain as any logical thought.

Nothing needed to be said as you stared down the figure before you. This wasn’t unusual for a city like this. They wanted money, your money. Yet, you didn’t have much on you to offer. Probably only two dollars and nineteen cents in your pocket. Definitely not enough to quell them.

Before you had a chance to even inhale and speak, the person before you collapsed to the ground with nothing but little more than a squeak. A hunking form towering over his crumbled body. Your jaw dropped at the size of this figure. Your heart stutter in its bony cage as you were pinned to the spot like your shoes were welded there.

The string in your chest yanked hard directly in front of you. Your eyes couldn’t expand anymore at the feeling.

With nothing more but a breeze, the shadow zipped past you. You spun around to keep an eye on whatever had attacked your own attackers. Now that it was closer to the street lamps, you were able to pick up flashes of what it looked like. Yet, your brain couldn’t comprehend who this figure that moved in a blink of an eye was. You’ve never seen anyone move like that before. It couldn’t be possible.

A sick snapping echoed through the alleyway that had you tensing. The second attacker fell to the ground, unmoving. Finally, your shoes unpolarized from the dirty concrete but stepped away from the towering form that casted a long shadow. The head barely touching the tips of your toes. You swallow thickly and ignored the way your heart pounded heavily. It wanted freedom, wanted to rip out and go towards it.

He lifted his head. What could you see were long, thick… dreads? swaying as he shook his head. Metal, shining ornaments were attached to them. His form, larger than any man you’ve met before stood there. Only one arm moving, bending at the elbow. You couldn’t see what he was doing. You felt a fluttering feeling in your chest.

The figure whipped around with a snarl that echoed back at you. All you could see was emotionless eyes before it was upon you.

Your back slammed into the brick wall but a hand cushioned the back of your head. A gasp tore from your throat then your vision settled to take in the sight. He had pounced on you, pinned you to the alleyway wall, all the while breathing heavily. A hand had captured your neck, to ensure you stayed there, trapped.

Even with the knowledge this unknown figure might had just killed two people, your body was warm, lax underneath him. Your brain should’ve been screaming danger of the situation but all it sung was safety. A melody you couldn’t tell was true or not from the logical side of your brain. Yet, you couldn’t dispute the hot flash of an connection that struck you deep in your stomach at just his touch.

“Y-you…” he forced out in a guttural, gravely voice. This close to him, you realize he was wearing a mask, metal by the looks of it. “Not po-possible.” Your brows furrowed at his barely audible words. What did he mean?

Timidly, you reached out and rested your palm on his chest. He was incredibly hot, temperature wise. You felt a sort of netting there. He hissed, like a cat, and slipped the hand behind your head to snatch your wrist. It was pinned above your head. “No.” It was hard to understand what he was saying.

Not an ounce of fear entered your body as he continues to pin you there. Yet, your voice was caught behind a lump. So many questions fluttered around inside of your head but all you could do was stare into the emotionless eyes of his mask.

As if you had burned him, he ripped himself away from you within a blink of any eye. It left you feeling unsteady and almost falling to the ground. You saw for a moment he reached out to help you before letting the limb fall to his side.

Then, he was gone. In a small flash of blue, his form disappeared completely. Yet, you could feel him standing there, like a ghost to haunt you.

The walk home was confusing.

…

Blaring noises, inundated scents. Everything that a newly blooded would not be able to handle. Through the thick of it, the hunter waited in the shadows for the perfect moment. His ears picking up every little noise yet filtering them until he felt a pull. This pique his interest. A feeling he’s never felt before. His eyes closed as it persisted inside of him, his chest tightening.

A huff sounded from his mask he stood up, long legs stretching after being in a crouch position for so long. The Yautja cracked his neck a couple of times before beginning his trek through the concrete jungle. He allowed the tug to guide him over buildings as if he back on his home planet. It took him from one side of the city hundreds of thousands of oomans resided in all the way to the other side.

All of his moves were smooth, agile. He knew where and how to land before he was going to. His body going through the motion like a thousand times beforehand. His feet never making a sound. His breaths steady, confident. He loved this, the movement, the rise of adrenaline. That extra energy that filled his system.

The pads of his feet let him land silently on the edge of a building. The pull taking his straight down. He stopped and peered over the edge… to find three measly oomans. The heavy scent of fear permeated the air. He drank in the smell and watched the scene unfold before his bright eyes.

At the sight of ooman between the two male had his quills bristling at the sight. With his cloak deactivated, the Yautja stepped off from the edge. His entire body landed on top of one ooman, simply crushing it underneath his feet like the scum it was. Its frame making a sickening sound he could care less about to think of.

He launched himself at the other ooman. No mercy. A hand wrapped around the ooman’s throat while the other wrapped around its head. Only an ounce of his strength was extruded as he snapped the neck of this low life. Its body dropped to the dirty floor of this noisy, death filled city.

Beneath the thick scales that covered his chest, a strange feeling bloomed. It was the same notion from before. Pulling him backwards. He raised a hand to graze over the spot, deep in thought.

A snarl ripped at his throat. He whipped around to face the only other living thing in this dark path. The biomask that covered his face scanned over the little ooman left in his presence. Weapons, nonthreatening, adorn its small body. He wasn’t intimidated by them. He could scoff at how unprotected it was in a place like this.

He was upon the ooman in a second, ramming them into a brick. One hand coming around to cradle the back of its head while the other swiftly encased your neck. The Yautja gave it no room for escape.

His entire body tensed as the feeling tenfolded, eyes widening behind his mask. He didn’t know what was happening. Unlike any other time he’s had a ooman in his grasp, you didn’t move, you were like water in his grasp.

Tales as old as time sprung to life in his mind. “Y-you,” he grumbled in the ooman’s dialect. It hurt his throat to speak the language but he wasn’t going to waste a translator on you. He couldn’t… couldn’t. His heart, his mighty heart pulled, fluttered even, at your proximity and touch. “Not po-possible.” He hated the ooman languages.

The ooman’s face turned sour with confusion. He watched as you raised a hand to his chest, where his heart beats. A hiss surged past his mandibles. With a hand, he snatched your wrist and pinned it above your head harshly. Hopefully, you would learn a lesson. Not a single waft of terror rolled from your tiny, fragile body.

It jerked at his heart harder. In an instant, the Yautja yanked himself away from you with disgust. Yet, the way you stumbled from the lack of a steady body to protect you, he moved to help you. Halfway through the motion, he paused, arms falling to his sides. He needed to leave. Now.

A simple button had his cloak reactivating and gone from your sight. His feet were cemented in place right before you. You could still feel him, standing there. He observed you after you finally ripped yourself from the wall and began the trek of wherever you were heading.

Like your shadow, he followed you. All the way, even as you opened a door to a dingey old building and up the stairs. The Yautja followed your every move even as you prepared for bed and laid down. He watched you struggle to find comfort, kicking, squirming, and shivering. The distress clearly evident. Strangely enough, he wanted nothing more to march into your room and comfort you. But, the Yautja stayed.

When he knew it was time to become homebound, the Yautja gave you one last look. Days in, days out, he’s been your shadow, observing your every move. For the fifteen rotations of your planet, he’s been there. He didn’t allow himself to be seen, by anyone. Including yourself. He was there though.

.

Sleeping was difficult. A struggle to find peace within the storm raging inside of you now. It felt a door had been opened and couldn’t be shut. You felt incomplete now. A distraught noise escaped your lips as you fulfilled your worthless job. You leaned heavily on the counter with a sigh, eyes shutting. All you saw through the darkness was flashes of that night.

The night were everything changed.

On the day afterwards, you took an unfortunate day off from work. As much as you needed the money, research was needed to be done. For the entire day, you searched through every article possible about soulmates. Everything. You also dug into anything that was close to whatever had… saved you. It had saved you then disappeared. But it left behind a feeling that was consuming you every thought.

Was this what it felt like to be abandoned? You whined at the thought and opened your eyes. Work needed to be done. If only you knew the consequences.

[girlfromflor]

56 DAYS (sjy) | what's jake like?

summary: literally just a headcanon about jake and what inspired me to write him the way i did. read the prequel and part one.

pairing: enemie!jake x fem!reader

warnings: brief mentions of sex and things related to it (so please minors do not interact): mating press, angry sex?, praising, and riding

playlist: 56 days.

a/n: i'm so excited about this fic, but since i haven't finished writing it yet and have sooo many ideas i decided to do this to overcome my silly write block. also, let me know if you want to be in the taglist for 56 days when i post it♡♡♡

so, this jake was essentially based on 'let go' by galimatias (the song is in the playlist for the fic)

the song starts with two main lines: "it's the way i fell when you looked at me so tender" followed by "how i miss your breathing on my neck when i enter"

and just like that that's how we see jake, at first at least

he is confident and cocky, yes, but he's also caring selfless and loving

especially with reader, he's all about you

he's much more himself when he's around her, even if he's overflowing with cockiness

cause he is flirty and all that, but he just really wants to make you laugh most of the time

or get on you nerves and watch the roll of your eyes

next, there's a line that goes "but still the thought of you is the prettiest thing that i own" and that's LITERALLY jake's essence in this

he's so in love and so determined to make it happen

he thinks the IDEA of you is just so lovable

he wants to worship you 9 out of 10 times

the remaining 1 he just wants to fight you a little bit

for making him crave you so bad, for teasing him and for entertaining the idea that he would be okay with all the tension

but he WOULD NEVER fight you for having an attitude

and there's where we go for the next song: "do you like me?" by daniel caeser (also in the playlist)

starting with "do you like the way i talk to you? do i titillate your mind?" and that is literally how jake would talk to you with he ever got the chance do flirt – really flirt – with you

the next line "gotta say i like your attitude and i'd to make you mine" is something jake would never admit, but he relates so bad

he's all for the little angry outbursts you'd give him if he really stressed you, and everytime without fail it does something with his heart (and dick)

maybe it's because anger is the closest to a showcase of emotion he gets from you, and he gets off on it

sometimes he imagines you on top of him, nails scratching his chest and you riding him in a steady, breathtaking, and cruel rhythm

if he opens his mouth to tease you further you'd shove your fingers in his mouth

maybe you'd be mean, but he likes to think he'd get you to be soft saying "be good for me, baby, just wanna hear your pretty moans"

but sometimes he imagines the whole opposite

sometimes he just imagines himself fucking the attitude right out of you

your legs folded in the meanest mating press, he'd absolutely wreck you while his fingers drew little circles on your clit

and when you finally give up on the attitude and start begging for him to cum he'd say "knew you would be good for me, pretty girl"

his aftercare would be all about kisses and sweet nothings whispered in your ear

he just really wants to do everything that's possible with you

and that means he'd try everything to get what he wants – you

a/n: i read this again and omg it had so many mistakes i'm shocked

[harrisonbrainrot]

Indiana Jones NSFW Alphabet

18+ MDI

Teehee, content for my POOKIE. God, I love him, I'm feral, a horny monster, I have thots.

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

Indy is alright at aftercare, but it really depends on the setting you've been in. A slow, romantic night home from a life threatening excursion for an ancient relic? He's taking care of you, treasuring you. He wants to make sure he takes his time with you, so you know how important you are to him. If it's a quickie in the heat of the moment because you might never get another chance to ever fuck again? Forget it, you're getting a soft kiss on the forehead, he's pulling your pants back up for you, and you're back to running for your life. Mess and all, you get enough attention to know he loves you but he's not stopping long enough to be all lovey dovey.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

I genuinely think his favorite is his brain, he thinks he's so smart, and it makes him all smug and arrogant half the time. Which isn't untrue, he's very smart, but God does it make him insufferable sometimes.

That being said, he loves curves, feeling your waist tuck in and holding your hips, feeling your ass. It's hard to pick a singular feature, but he appreciates your figure.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

He loves to hit it from the back and cum all over your ass. He loves seeing it run down off your cheeks and down the back of your thighs. It makes him feral.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

He told you the door to his classroom was locked, he really thought it was locked, and in the end it wasn't. It's a simple dirty secret, it added to the moment after. He had you bent over his desk, your backs to the door, and anyone could've walked in. He'd never tell you, he hates being wrong, but the thrill of being caught added to his experience.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

Good lord, he's so sickeningly skilled, it's just unfair. He's so well versed, it's almost embarrassing because he's so much more experienced than you. He knows exactly what to do to leave you a crumbling, drooling mess and absolutely relishes in this fact.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

Cowgirl, or missionary, but your legs are on his shoulders and he's folding you in half. He loves cowgirl when he's sore and battered from an adventure and he wants to be taken care of. He wants you to set the pace, he wants to hold your hips. He'll sit up and nuzzle your tits, sighing against them. His scruff drives you crazy and he loves how it combined with his warm breath makes you clench around him. If he's feeling himself and he's really wanting a good time, he's nearly pinning your thighs to your chest, just absolutely wrecking your pussy. The man bruises your cervix almost everytime in the most delicious, mind blowing way. You'll feel him for days after and it makes you just want it all over again.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

He can be a total goober. If he's had a few drinks and you're home and he gets frisky, he's using bad lines to get you in bed and he's giggling and flushed. He's happy, he's safe, he's in love. So rarely does he feel this comfortable and content in his life, he can't help but feel giddy.

That being said, he's usually very down to business with sex. He wants to make love or fuck and he wants to do it right. Which requires his full attention if you both want to get off.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

Trimmed enough to be polite. Sometimes a bit too hairy when he gets back from being gone, but will return to his grooming habits promptly if you prefer it.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

Wildly intimate. I'm talking eye contact, soft praises, slow and deep thrusts. He wants to feel and chart everything to memory. How tight you are, how you flutter around him when he places open mouth kisses just under your ear. He loves it all. He wants you to feel absolutely loved. He might be a smart ass but that doesn't mean he isn't one to slack in the romance department.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

If he's desperate and you're not around, other than that he doesn't really ever jerk it. He's usually always with you and you two are always down to be horny monsters wherever you can be.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

Call him sir or professor and see how fast he's making you moan in the nearest dark closet at the college.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

In no particular order; outside in some jungle with you pressed against a tree, his office at the college with your legs spread on the desk, an old temple, palace, ancient ruins.. he's the first person there in hundreds, maybe thousands of years, and he's probably the first to cum there.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

Flirty banter, subtle touches, neck kisses. Bite his ear. He's a sensitive man, just breathe a certain way and he wants you mewling under him.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

He's not super into anything extremely taboo or rough, he likes rough sex but he's not into inflicting pain or anything.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

Prefers to receive, loves to cum down your throat, holding your head steady and close while you gag around him. Is extremely skilled at giving though and will never, ever hesitate to go down on you.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

The man is fast and rough and hard, he knocks the air out of you. But that's not to say it isn't sensual. He's very strong, very skilled, he's not clumsy. He's not sloppy, unless he's drunk and you're both in a fever trying to get each other naked. He'll bend you over the nearest surface, rutting into you until sweat drips down him. His grip on your hips is harsh, but his thumb traces soft circles against your skin. He's relentless but he leans over you, kissing your neck, whispering soft praises against your skin.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

He's a quickie master. Fucks in-between classes, lectures, and running for your lives. There's really never a time he'd say no to you. He'll pin your back against the wall, holding your thighs tight around his waist while he fucks you desperately. Your mouth silenced by his, as you moan into the kiss. "Sweetheart, your pretty little noises are gunna get us caught." He'd whisper into your skin, punctuating each word with a hard thrust, just to make you suffer and try to keep quiet.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

Let's be real, it's Indy. He's always taking risks. Quick fucks after surviving some traps in a tomb to celebratory sex, some idol found and he wants his other reward, you. And that's just on his adventures. He'd fuck you in cars, in his office, in his classroom, the library? Pinned up against the bookshelves, trying to be slow and gentle but it drives you both crazy, anything other than that and you'd get caught. Can't have that.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

Safely say two rounds, maybe three if you're lucky. But he lasts a while, almost too long, he's a master at edging, both himself and you. He won't come unless it's the perfect moment and he won't come first.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

Probably not tbh.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

He's 100% the biggest tease on the face of the planet. Little touches he knows drive you crazy while you're in public. Fuck, he'll finger you while you're at the bar ordering drinks in some foreign country where no one knows you, and once you're completely hot and bothered and basically dripping wet for him, he'll ignore you until his drink is finished. Just soft glances out of the corner of his eye while you wiggle and squirm and beg for even a modicum of his attention.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

Oh, he's fucking PRIMAL. When he can be vocal, he's swearing, grunting through gritted teeth, making these whiny little moans when you're on top. A bit of a shout with his head thrown back as he cums when he's fucking you. He's a vocal man.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

Kisses like a man starved. Open mouth kisses everywhere, his hands gripping you close. He kisses like every one is his last with you, because to be fair, it very well could be. His tongue against yours, against your throat, teeth against your soft skin. Forget it. He can ruin you with his kisses alone.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

8", cut, girthy enough to make you stretch delightfully, thick vein on the top that you love to trace to tease him, which gets him all huffy and puffy.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

Stupid high. He wants to fuck to wake up and he wants to fuck to go to bed and maybe have a quickie for brunch.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

Depending on the setting and time, he could be chipper after. If it's a desperate "I almost lost you, this, us" type fuck, he's almost asleep before he pulls out. He's dozing while still inside of you, all snuggled into your neck, his arms wrapped around you. (He loves that the most, he won't say that but he doesn't have to, you know your Indy)

[rooks-dagger]

Six(ish) Song Soundtrack: Ember "Rook" Mercar

Thanks for the tag, @dancing--lights @themildmahariel and @litchigaming! 💜 Highly recommend y'all check out Livia Mercar, Euzen Thorne, and Vesper Mercar's playlists for some cool songs!

Rules: If you're tagged, make a post with links to music and/or lyrics describing six things/events about your OC/story.

No-pressure tagging @augustnugs @dudewheresmynug @jouskaroo @fatagenda @thesummerstorms @curiouswisp @grimrevolution and @master-of-the-elements ✨

1. An event that defined your character's past

Gladiator - Zayde Wolf

I'ma give you a second just to catch your breath 'Cause I can see that your heart is jumping out your chest I know you gave it all, 'cause I've already seen your best And it's time you accepted this Gladiator, gladiator, gladiator Picked a fight with the gods, I'm a giant slayer Bone shaker, dominator Freight train, wrecking ball, I'm the gladiator

Ember spent a good deal of her past as a gladiator. It’s where she learned to fight and where she realized the power of a little showmanship in the arena. She takes that same cockiness to her fight against the gods.

2. How others see them

[POV of Rook's Enemies] Don't Get in My Way - Zack Hemsey

You don't want to say no more than a mime you can't afford And you don't want to let this turn into lines of mine and yours And you don't want to press your luck, better back up and withdraw Cuz trust me when I tell you you don't want that tooth and claw And you don't wanna see inside the mind of a savage kind And you don't want that recognition of "Oh, there goes that guy"

Ok, but legit, Rook would be a terrifying enemy to have. I mean, you've got rumors of this upstart nobody and then suddenly she's everywhere. Bouncing across the Thedas like it's nothing. Hunting down Venatori leaders, Antaam generals, and blighted dragons one by one. Then she picks a fight with the risen gods and WINS. Those corrupt magisters are shaking in their boots when they hear Ember's back in town.

[POV of Rook's Allies] Hold the Line - Tom Morello (feat. grandson)

It ain't a matter of if, It's just a matter of time But to get where we're going Sister, you gotta hold the line You gotta stay steadfast Tread lightly 'Cause they're looking for a reason to knock you down But you can't ask too politely In the trenches you gotta get loud Hold the line

Ember's friends see her as someone who stands tall against impossible odds. She doesn't back down. And more importantly, she’s right there in the trenches with them. She’s at their side when they’re facing their own demons. I don't think Ember even realizes how much her presence rallies the team. In her eyes, she’s just doing what she can to hold the line.

3. How they see themselves

Blood Runs Red - 78rpm

I may be under fire, but not burning up I'll come out on top, let there be no doubt I may be on the ropes, but I'm not going down Give me one more day, I'll be wanted all over town As long as my blood runs red Racing through my veins, and my heart still bleeding I will fight 'til the end Even if I'm crawling on my hands and knees and bleeding out

Ember has an... interesting relationship with pain. I’ve always thought her demon would be one of Self-Destruction or Pyrrhic Victory. She will do everything she can to keep her team safe, but she’s the first to put herself in the line of fire. She’ll take the hit because she knows she can bear it. She’ll fight all the way to her death if you let her.

4. Their closest relationship (platonic or romantic)

Hero - Faouzia

If I were your hero, would you be mine? I know this ain't a fairy tale, yeah, this is real life But if I were to save you, would you do the same? And catch me if I'm fallin', fallin', fallin'?

Ember, sap that she is, would absolutely tell everyone that Neve is her hero lol. Neve’s been with her every step of the way in the fight against the gods and has saved her life more times than she can count. Underneath all the playful banter and late-night cases are two people who trust one another to show up and be in their corner. They're partners and each other's heroes. It's cute!

5. A major fight scene

Fire - House of Protection

Doubt can take away All your intention Trust the chase and stay On your direction If you know what you desire Hit 'em with, hit 'em with, hit 'em with... Fire

Ember goes into her biggest battles with intention. She brings chaos to the fight, blitzing around the enemy with poison and explosives, but she’s got an end goal in mind. Plus, fire... ember... get it? lol

6. End credits

You're Where You Belong / Give 'Em Hell - Hans Zimmer, Lorne Balfe

Ember isn't the type of hero to go riding off into the sunset and retire. She's found a place to belong and people she loves. She's going to keep fighting to create a better world for them. There's plenty of adventure ahead. "The Veilguard Remains Vigilant" and so will she.

[tan1shere]

Too Late

Ellie Williams x female reader

A/n: it's just one of those days for angst 😍 I put my whole heart into this I hope you all enjoy it <3 also did the paragraphs differently idk which layout I should do. This or my normal one...

Summary: Ellie was blind to it all. But so were you. Blind by her sweet little remarks, sucked in. You fell first but she fell incredibly harder once she realized she'd lost you entirely.

Warnings: not much just angsty angst my friends. NO HAPPY ENDING hehehe sorry not sorry ;)

Masterlist

Tears threatening to spill. For what felt like the thousandth time that week, you've been crying your heart out. Yes that's right, crying over someone who doesn't even glance at you, the way you would like. Doesn't even want anything to do with you... The way you'd like. How could you be so stupid to fall, to cry when they haven't even done anything. Ellie williams, your best friend. Well not right now. You two have been drifting and it hurt like anything. Shes very affectionate towards you, so much that at some points you wonder if she could ever like you for more. You were very stupid to think that even for a second.

Sitting in your room, alone. Text after text. You just wanted to wither away into thin air. Your eyes stung from the constant truckle of tears. But what hurt more, were the texts weren't even from the one person you wanted it to be. You were a bit younger than Ellie, so maybe she just thought of you as a child. That roamed around your brain for what felt like hours. Overthinking to the absolute max. You just wish your brain would zip it. Stop talking to you, just stop. It was silly to think that someone as amazing as her, would ever go for a wreck like you. Turning over in your bed, trying to get your brain to stop antagonizing you.

Fast forward a few days later, you were in your last class of the day, eyes droopy. Dark. Sore. Every possible thing that wasn't good. You were pale from lack of sun, just genuinely looking dead. Exactly how you felt deep inside. Dead. Dead. DEAD. "Y/n?" You get pulled out of your depressing thoughts by a voice. Her voice. You swallow, worried if you look at her you might break and crumble. You turn around looking at your feet, avoiding everything. "Hey, you haven't been in classes recently." You close your eyes for a split second praying that in some random universe this was all a silly dream.

That you were safe in your bed, dreaming this all. But no, ofcourse not. This was reality, she was talking to you and all you wanted to do was puke. Hurl. Your mind was racing. "Everything alright?" Your mouth goes dry, feeling like you can't form any words. You really were dead. So you do the only thing you could think of and just nod. "Babe are you sure?" There it was. That hope. That name. You kept everything in you not to let go completely and just run off to your small apartment, as you didn't live on campus. You finally look up at her, going to be strong as you had finished for the day. Not long to go now. "I'm sure. Just tired." She nods. "Ok well I want you to come with me this avo, I'm having a small party at mine. I miss you, please come."

Does she not understand what she's doing to your little heart. You feel it break more, every single day. You don't know how much longer you can keep going until it fully breaks in half. Jagged edges pinching your organs with that sting of pain. Or do you get over it once that's happened, maybe you want her to hurt you just that much, so even if you're broken you have nothing left to give. No more worries. "Yeah maybe." You go to leave not wanting to continue this any further. But she grabs your wrsit stopping you. "Please. I've missed you these past few weeks. And I have something really exciting to show you." For the first time in what felt like a decade you smile.

She was poisoning you. Your tiny heart started to mend again. Heartbreaking as it was you still loved her so much. You were inlove with her. "Okay, I'll be there." You were still so stupid.

Later on rolled round pretty quickly, your spark had come back again, you still looked like a bit of a mess but nothing a little makeup couldn't fix. Hiding those bags, and dark circles. You decided to wear something cute, maybe in hopes she'd fully see you for you. As you were approaching the dorm room that Ellie lived in you were smiling ear to ear, then suddenly everything in you fades. The door was open music booming, people everywhere. But you saw her. And she wasn't alone. A pretty girl was perched on her lap, they were laughing. Everything went buzzy. Your ears, numb. Your body. She sees you and smiles. Coming over to you hand in hand with this girl.

She looks to be Ellies age. Making your overthinking come face to face with you, as it was true. "Hey, you came! Id like you to meet Layla." You stare at both of them unsure of how to even process anything right now. Your brain was muddled. Hurt. So hurt. Your heart ached. The girl doesn't really say much she just smiles. You get a gross feeling. But you being you. You stay silent. Letting it hurt quietly, not wanting to ruin how happy she looks. But it isn't with you. You gulp thickly. Wanting to do nothing but go home and melt into your sheets.

"I- uhm. I have to go." You abruptly say, letting your small body wisk off, you get into your car and sit there. Feeling like a broken bone, not yet sunk in as the shock still consumes you. But when it hits you. It hits hard. You sob, cry. Break down, putting your head on the steering wheel as you let your heart out. You had gotten your hopes up. Again. In hopes that she'd love you like you loved her. You hit the steering wheel, sobbing with every bit of strength you have left. And just like that your heart was fully broken, no amount of super glue would fix it. No, nothing would fix the ache. The sting. You let out a pained scream as you rest your head back, knowing you can't drive like this.

You get out your phone and call for an Uber, you could pick up your car in the morning when you felt a bit better. But who are you kidding you'd never feel good ever again. It's like the person in you has just deflated. Gone. As you get out you hear her voice. You don't even know if it was a dream or reality. But you didn't care for the calls you couldn't. "What the hell was that." You then hear. You stop in your tracks. Is she really going to be putrid right now. "What...?" You don't turn around. "You heard me, what the fuck is up with you lately." You start to cry more, frustration starting to fuel your body. You slowly turn around. "Are you stupid Williams.." She squints at you. "Excuse me?" You stay silent. Not even sure what to say to her.

"Babe. Just talk to m-" That's when you lost it. "No. NO. stop fucking calling me that. God Ellie. After all these years you don't even fucking know me!" You get a bit sidetracked, letting everything in. "Dont stand there calling me that, you don't know how much it hurts me. When your off with someone else, leaving me behind you say you miss me but where were your texts huh? You're the only one I wanted texts from. I only wanted you." She was speechless. "But no, I'm not going to stand here and argue with you, because if anything im mad at myself. Glad you're happy." Your Uber had pulled up in time. You get in not even looking at her as the vehicle drives off.

Numb. Empty. Dead. You felt emotionless the next day. You truly had no tears left to cry. Like it has been your eyes hurt. But this time, you didn't even care. It was sort of soothing. Comforting to know you could atleast feel something. You hadn't moved that whole night. Hadn't slept. Just laying there. Your theory was right. Your heart was now fully broken, it felt exactly how you had imagined it to. You had nothing left to give. But you were glad about that. Ellie broke your heart to the point where you just lost all that love for her. It was just gone. You scrunch your face up at the sound of a car parking outside. It sounded exactly like your car. And you were greeted with the sound of a knock on your door.

Confusion strikes you. You slowly, emotionlessly. Get up and head over to it. You're greeted with that one person you never wanted to see again. And yet, you don't even care for her arrival. Nor ask why the hell she's even here. You just move, heading back inside and leaving the door open for her to do what she wanted. You did not care. "Hi..." She speaks softly. Your cold, dark. You don't say a word. "I uhm. I had a spare key of yours that you had given me in case of anything so." Silence. Nothing. You go into your kitchen grabbing a glass of water. Was the only thing you felt like. "Me and her aren't..-" She sighs. "She was just using me to make her ex boyfriend jealous and, well. It worked." You turn your head to slightly look at her.

"B- Y/n I'm so fucking sorry-" You don't even know what came over you but you speak. "I'm not inlove with you anymore." She stares at you for a second, letting out another sigh. "I didn't know you were." She responds. You look into her eyes, yours drained and tired. Full of nothing for her, or anyone else in this world for that matter. She saw it now. She didn't the other day because she was so hung up on something that deep down she knew wouldn't end well. She's full of regret, hatred for herself. How could she not of seen any of it. "I can make this up to you, I genuinely want to be with you also-" You then look at her, making her shut up for some reason, worried about your reaction or response. "Guess it's too late for that." Her face drops, watching you going into your room, shutting the door behind you. Leaving Ellie stunned in your living room. Knowing she's lost you for good.

[harmyyyy]

Y'all, I'd like to kindly ask someone who likes to write fanfiction and is a fan of jjk, please take this idea and make it a reality🙏 I can't write for crap and want this idea to actually be written😭😭 if you write it please tag me so I can read it (also if you know any fics like this please lmk🙏)

So here's my idea:

So it is based on a song, but I came up with a kind of spin-off of it. The song is The Ballad of Sara Berry. If you've never heard it, basically, the premise of the song is Sara Berry is like THE MOST popular girl in school, she has everything going for her, a hot boyfriend, friends, cheer captain, the whole shabang. Prom is coming up, and she obviously wants to be prom queen, and it's all but secured for her until before votes begin. Some girl gets in a wreck and loses her leg. People feel bad for this girl, and rumors says that they're gonna make her prom queen instead. Sara is upset, she goes home and her parents are like, "If you can't even get to the top in prom, how will you ever succeed in the real world? Don't disappoint us, " which obviously is not the right thing to say. So she tries really hard to promote herself, but in doing so, she basically socially isolates herself to the point that her friends say she's socially dead. Then, like the day before prom, she finds out that her bf is going to take the girl who lost her leg to prom instead of Sara. Her parents be absolute dicks about it, saying, "Why are you so calm? There's no future for a princess at prom". And so then she's has like a total psychotic breakdown and decides to go to the school and kill all her old friends. But then the girl who lost a leg calls the cops. So Sara crowns herself prom queen then gets arrested and put in an insane asylum

Crazy, I know lol.

BUT ANYWAYS

So I've come up with a couple of different routes you could go(and obviously creative liberty to anyone who writes it), one is following the song more closely where it has them set in an AU or regular jujitsu high has a prom. The other is still set in the canon universe, where Geto defects and everything. So in every one of those Gojo is Sara, the only real difference between the different ideas would be his reason for going on an absolute rampage lmao

So I was thinking, in the one where it's just regular jjk, but it goes non-canon compliant a bit. Geto leaves, says his iconic line of, "Are you the strongest because you're Satoru Gojo, or are you Satoru Gojo because you're the strongest", after that Gojo shoves himself into getting better like he does in the show but he's more unhinged after losing his support system and the only person he thought understood him and didn't think of him like a weapon. In the normal show he just takes on the responsibilities that Geto shoved onto him and runs himself into the ground, I'm thinking that could still happen, but instead of just tired he becomes more unstable, ungrounded, not at all connected to reality without Geto there to keep him touching the earth yk? And then maybe Shoko leaves and joins Geto, or someone finally says the thing that just tips Gojo over the absolute edge, and he goes on his killing spree. He massacres the elders, maybe others associated, and no one can stop him because he's the strongest. He tries everything to make himself feel like a person again. He kills and kills and kills, but nothing works. He gets further and further from the ground. Until he's either killed EVERYONE in jujitsu high or everyone who saw him as a weapon and not a person(almost everyone😬). And maybe it ends there, with him completely and utterly alone at the top like he always was. OR there's an alternate ending where someone calls Geto, he comes, sees the blood bath that Gojo left in his wake. But by the time he's gotten there, gotten to Gojo, it's too late. He's too far gone. He can no longer save the one he used to call his best friend. And so he either gives up, trys to take Gojo with him and does not give up on him, or Gojo kills him. Whichever is fine tbh.

In the AU or prom one, it can honestly go however. With that you could just follow the song premise since the other was pretty loosely based on it lol.

Anywho, thanks in advance to anyone who decides to write it or recommend fics🩷🩷

[bloopitynoot]

Reading TGCF: Chapter Fifteen

For those who don't know, I am reading TGCF for the first time and sharing my thoughts!

If you have not read it, there will be spoilers! Consider this a warning.

Also- if you want to follow along, I am aiming to post updates daily. You can find all the posts in the tag Bloopitynoot reads TGCF. You can also check out the intro post for context on my read BUT if you followed along with my SVSSS read, the rules and vibe are the same.

I am finding out that tumblr censors some words so my last post did not appear in my tag, so if you want to read Chapter fourteen it's here.

Censorship is trash but here we are; white tea on a Monday while I do laundry and read between loads.

Let's go chapter fifteen!!!!

My heart! I just want this face-disease-kid to be safe. Why does he keep running from Xie LIan p97

Xie Lian over here running through the city like an absolute wrecking ball. Only then to be essentially invited to the most exclusive club as a VIP is incredible. pp98-99

Hua Cheng is really playing the most expensive game of card stacking; pure gold-leaf. p101

My heeeaaaart! San Lang saying Puqi shrine feels like home p105

Same San Lang, "That an idiot like Lang Qianqiu can ascend..." p107. Lang Qianqiu- certified himbo.

:'((((((( this poor baby, he cut the faces off his face. Omg i want to hug him so bad. p109

The White Clothed Calamity sounds so scary. That mask is actually horrific. pp110-111

Hua Cheng and his mysterious errands- I hope we do find out what his business is because I am so curious about his character. p113

WTF secret agent Xie Lian; ceiling edition. p114

Okay curious secret room that can only be opened with dice. p116. I also love how Xie Lian gave up immediately . Like nope, he knew that he would never realistically be able to open that door no matter how many times he rolled LOL.

What a crazy date; goes to a very secret and super special rare armoury. San Lang: they're all yours baby, whatever you want. pp118-119

oh wait, why is the scimitar kind of cute though! p120

One more thing I didn't really talk about in my notes but keep thinking about:

I love how Xie Lian just fucking left the wind master and Lang Qianqiu in his dust. Like, "ah yeah, I'm gonna go, just maybe meet me here in three days? okay, byyyyeee." LOL This is so funny to me, I desperately need a pov from the other two. Especially since the wind master absolutely regretted all of their choices to take Lang Qianqiu on this mission LOOOOOL.

Also, the fact that Xie Lian showed even a hint of interest in the boy and san lang 1. finds him immediately 2. was fully prepared to raise him as his own LOL.

[ao3vich]

2025 - 06 - 31 || 2025 - 07 - 07

ONE SHOTS

Starving For You. by An7ious Ian’s been dying to rim Mickey for weeks, begging nonstop. When Mickey finally gives in, Ian loses his mind and devours him like he’s starving—leaving Mickey trembling, overwhelmed, and absolutely wrecked.

Melt Me Open. by An7ious Mickey’s wound up tight and doesn’t even know it. Ian does. So he takes his time. All night. Slow, deep, overwhelming—until Mickey’s shaking and begging, coming again and again, too wrecked to speak. And Ian doesn’t stop until Mickey arches under him, his back off the bed, Ian’s mouth on his chest, and the final orgasm nearly makes him pass out.

Too Loud In There. by An7ious Mickey tries to handle the grocery store on his own, timing it just right and preparing for every possible sensory trigger. But when everything hits at once—loud noises, bright lights, and a sudden crash—he shuts down in the cereal aisle and texts Ian for help. Ian rushes to him without hesitation, gently guiding him through the overload with soft words, hoodie strings, and quiet patience.

you're wide awake, and i'm the same by lcrbr Mickey has a hard time adjusting to his new life on the West Side and goes back the place where it all began.

Touch My Man Again and I'll Fuck You Up by ShipperGirl121 Ian becomes a volunteer lifeguard at the pool in their apartment complex. And much to Mickey’s annoyance, he gets some fans.

Mornin' by Hellcat1980 It is the morning after what could be the beginning of something beautiful.

The Little Prince by luknymag “Will you be my Little Prince, and I’ll be your Rose?”

You’re Gonna Feel This Forever. by An7ious Mickey experiences an orgasm so overwhelming it lasts for literal minutes—shaking, silent, eyes rolled back—and Ian, completely in love, holds him through every second, praising him the entire time.

You're Losing Me by icgallagher

To be loved is to be changed by bvrryluves

Dirty Little Tongue by LeenaFee Mickey doesn't like getting his ass licked. He never has. He never will. And he will die on that hill. Or kill someone on it.| That someone being his own red headed, cock slinging, pretty faced, Southside trash husband. Fuck, he never wins against the bastard.

Each one believing that love never dies by Pillow_Bee Mickey rarely gets sick. So when he does, Ian worries incessantly about it.

A Kiss on the Forehead by mickittotheman Most people make their most stupidass decisions when they’re drunk. Not Mickey. Mickey makes his when he’s sober, when there’s not alcohol clouding his mind and slowing his thoughts and drowning out the fucking urges he gets at the most randomass times.

Hugs From Behind by mickittotheman The first time Ian manages to get away with it is in the aftermath of a really, really good fuck.

A Kiss Out of Spite by mickittotheman Mickey only hears the conversation by accident.

Fourth of July by hell_yeah_stargazer_lilies Mickey continues his online shopping spree by buying Fourth of July shirts for himself and the Gallaghers. The husbands try a new position from their Valentine's Day scratch-off poster.

Silent Fire by ohjustgallavich In the midst of a tense corporate meeting, Ian struggles to maintain his composure as Mickey’s teasing texts push him to the edge. Unable to resist, Ian discreetly gives in to his desire beneath the polished boardroom table, sending Mickey a bold photo of the evidence. When Ian finally returns home, the power dynamic between them ignites in a slow-burning game of control, teasing, and denied pleasure. With tension building over hours, Ian pushes Mickey to beg for release, savoring every moment before finally giving in. Their fiery connection culminates in an intense, intimate release, leaving them both raw, vulnerable, and closer than ever.

Can’t Help Myself. by An7ious Mickey’s half-asleep, hoodie still on, glasses crooked from dozing off. Ian’s so in love and impossibly turned on, and he can’t help but pull Mickey in—slow, deep, tender, and so full of love it makes his chest ache.

Winner Takes It All by neverfindmelol Professional famous boxers box for the first time. Who will win with the metal and who will leave with nothing?

You're Blushing, Baby by ohjustgallavich

Right Underneath It. by An7ious After Mickey comes, Ian slides anal beads in and pushes two fingers inside alongside them, guiding the beads right into his prostate. With precise pressure and pulsing strokes, Ian sends Mickey into overwhelming pleasure—eyes rolling back, body shaking, nearly passing out as Ian holds him close and praises him through it.

Can’t Get Enough. by An7ious Ian comes home to find Mickey half-asleep on the couch—messy hair, crooked glasses, flushed cheeks—and gets overwhelmed by how beautiful he looks. He pulls Mickey onto his lap, and they share a slow, intense make-out session that reminds them both how deeply in love they are.

He did it. by icgallagher

The Heart Shaped Freckle. by An7ious Mickey starts getting more freckles after spending time in the sun, and Ian becomes completely obsessed—especially when a tiny, heart-shaped one shows up on Mickey’s nose.

Goodbye Kiss Part 1 by BitterTongue Mickey Milkovich gets broken up with. His best friend Ian Gallagher comforts him. Except it's more than that.

[uniquecellest]

I'm the og timeline before sending Logan back, I fully believe that it was Hank that got Erik out of the pentagon. Charles was a wreck after Erik got arrested and spiraled ever since.

Imo in the og timeline Hank was already planning on going to the Pentagon to pay Erik a visit. He knew Charles's drinking problem and use of the serum was getting bad and Hank feared the absolute worst. Waking up one day and finding a deceased Charles and there are two people he would hide that from (Erik and Raven) in fear of their reactions.

I digress.

Not wanting to worry Charles, Hank makes up an excuse to leave. Hank also has been looking into Raven and knows (and prays he's wrong but he's not) that she was the actual assassin of the president and knows that she's possibly planning something in Paris. He has to choose.

He goes for Erik. Erik simply because he knows that Charles and Erik got one another on a level that no one else can.

Arriving at the Pentagon the guards bring both him and Erik into a special room like Erik's cell. However, Hank brought metal with him to help Erik escape. The guards are outside and Erik very quietly and sternly tells Hank that he doesn't have anything waiting for him so why would he leave? (Really he wants Charles to contact him but feels as though Charles's silence is enough that even the man who always had hope in him no longer does so what's it to anyone if Erik doesn't care if he's in the cell for a lifetime?)

Hank brings Charles up. Erik is torn bc he wants to know how Charles is - as a possible way to torture himself. Charles has moved on, he's fine, Erik can do that too - and the other doesn't and he isn't sure which is worse. Hank doesn't give him a choice. Hank goes on with the serum, that's why he's not blue and Charles is able to walk (this is where Erik finds out he crippled Charles and is ready to ask for death row) amd not use his telepathy. Erik is understandably angry at this, however Hank tells them that telepathy is like a sixth sense for Charlse and after the loss of his legs he kept hearing more and more voices way more clearly, he could hear two people argue three or four blocks over as if he was witnessing it (and Charlwamkept having nightmares, losing Erik to the waters in Miami, to Emma and the Russians in Russia, losing him in Cuba in the actual events and Shaw winning) and Charles couldn't take it anymore.

After he's done talking Hank tells Erik he's in DC for a day or two at least and slides something to Erik that contains several pieces of metal disguised as plastic. Hank leaves but the guards don't get Erik right away. Watching his retreating form, Erik goes over every piece of information about Charles in his head a hundred times over. Having enough Erik breaks out and he and Hank go back to Westchester where Charles is very pissed at Hank but moreso at Erik. The two argue but Erik helps Charles get better.

(Eventually Raven attempts Trask and sentinels happen. Something something related to Moira and she gets her memories back quicker and Erik leaves again until he and Charles unite years later to protect mutants from the sentinels).

(P.s. Erik totally finds put about Charles family history while getting Charles better.

P.p.s Had Hank gone after Raven and not Erik, Raven I still think would've gone after Trask but not in Paris bc her protective stupid brother became something neither thought he would and knowing she was a piece in that oof. Girl definitely went to check up on him but only in the distance. She couldn't stand to see Charles fall apart from a distance and seeing it up close she knew she'd break down)

[redheadsramblings]

[slides into your inbox with a rose between my teeth 🌹] "If I was easy to kill, you would have done it already" for the WIPs, if you please. I love that song lmao

That song lives rent-free in my head and as soon as I heard it I put it straight on Rowan's playlist.

It's very much a bunch of notes and thoughts with some possible dialogue ideas, so I'll give a summary

I’m going to put this under the cut because it's going to be dark. TW: SA, Abuse — Physical and mental, drug use and suicidal thoughts.

WIP asks are here if anyone fancies a go or if you decide you want to ask another one due to the subject

If I was easy to kill, you would have done it already

Rowan has/had a group of bullies from the minute she is put into the Mourn Watch apprenticeship at age 6. It starts with childhood bullying, they hide her stuff, they push her over or down the stairs, they make up lies about her, they destroy her things etc

Rowan is utterly isolated within the Mourn Watch very quickly.

Last chance to turn back here.

It's going to get real dark

OK if you're here then you accept the trigger warnings

They are all older than her and nobles, so she thinks she has no one she can turn to. It turns sexual very quickly once the bullies hit that age. Rowan is about 10 the first time she is assaulted, they force drugs on her, and she also becomes addicted to try to numb the pain. Hoping that maybe one day they'll get the dose wrong, and she just doesn't have to wake up any more. It doesn't stop until she's in her late 20s, early 30s.

Which is when she just basically lives in the Depths, only returning to the upper levels when she absolutely has to. War of the Banners happens, she gets exiled to go off with Varric and Harding, and for the first time she doesn't have to look over her shoulder for survival.

Cue the period in game. The team has to infiltrate some fancy shindig in Nevarra to get info on <insert plot point here, haven't decided what yet> and Rowan runs into her pack of bullies. Now they're all expecting the frightened victim they remember, but Rowan has had plenty of encouragement and rebuilding done by Varric and the others over the intervening period, and she is not taking it from them any more.

She's still scared, but more than anything she is pissed and shows it. One of them tries to beat her into submission, and she just fucking wrecks him. One of them says, "We should have killed you when we had the chance, you knife eared bitch!" and Rowan just looks them dead ass in the face, eyes glowing with Necromantic power and drops the line "If I was easy to kill, you would have done it already"

Haven't decided how I'm ending it, but there will be retribution, punishment and a shit tone of healing for Rowan. I also haven't decided if Rowan has opened up about the abuse to the others yet, or if this is the first time they're hearing it. Kind of leaning towards the latter, if only because I need to see the whole Veilguard basically obliterate these oxygen thieves and for Rowan to see she really isn't alone.

Also, the images I have of pissed off Emmrich when he finds out are delicious and terrifying, and I need to share them with the world. Demons run when a good man goes to war

[mrs-monaghan]

Hi Shaz! Im feeling so down today, i had been stressed out for the whole week as I have 2 audits and 2 assessment for this month, I dis not pass one of my assessment today. Pls give me some Jikook content to lift my spirit up 😘 I know reading ur blogs will make me feel good, that’s why I run here after hahahah

I got u my lovely. There is never shortage of Jikook content! I didn't do it when u asked me but better late than never, no?

To start us off, how soft is this image?

No seriously, how soft is that?

(Which reminds me, @youaremy-parkfilter I haven't 4go10 your ask. I just haven't had time to rewatch the episode but I will, I promise)

It's a subconscious act too, that's what I love about it. Their size difference though! Gets me everytime

I love them sm 😩😩😩😩😫😫😫😫

Okay, okay. Let's get it together. Too fluffy..too much fluff. I know just the thing to get me back on track. 😏 see this photo of JK where he looks like a professional wrecker?

No, but he really do be looking like he does indeed wreck Jimin seven days a week 🥵 Anyway, remember how he adjusts the Jungkonda during this clip? Isn't it funny who he's talking about while he does that? 🤭🤭🤭

😂🤣😂 Look, this isn't what you would call a typical Jikook moment. It's just one of those things someone with a brain like mine would notice, alright? It's JK adjusting himself, of course I noticed. But it was JK adjusting himself while talking about Jimin. 🤭🤭🤭

Moving onnnnnnn.... what do you reckon Jikook have been saying to eo all these years?

And why do they have to be that close? Its that lack of personal space thing they've always had going on 🤭

Anyway, let's do a tiny analysis because we can. I was watching this because it doesn't matter how long you've been around there is always BTS content to catch up on, and I noticed something that really tickled me.

So Jimin was asked to pretend he's preventing his gf from breaking up with him. V wanted to pretend to be the gf but JK quickly beats him to it.

He stands up incredibly fast and stops infront of Jimin 😂😂 JK did not want another member to play this role. He really wanted to be Jimin's pretend girlfriend 🤭🤭🤭

The best part though, is when Jimin still names his girlfriend Jeon Jungkook. 😂😂😂😂😂😂

I'm sorry but that was too funny to me. Jimin and his girlfriend Jungkook 🤭🤭 Not RM finding it cringy 😂😂😂 RM's reactions never fail y'all.

Then, Jimin was asked to pick an actress he would love to work with.

And so he did.

Then an outraged JK was like, what about me???

Umm... okay? You're not even on the list bro, maybe chill? 🤭😂

It's the little things guys. It's the little things. And of course satellite Jikook are sitting next to eo. 💃🏾💃🏾💃🏾💃🏾

Next I'm gonna share this extremely soft Jikook moment. Like, he didn't even hurt him. That punch was so soft and yet here Jimin is just hugging on JK and apologising for the clearly painless punch. But its the tight hug at the end for me 🥺

Alrighty! Back to another BV analysis. So remember when they went to that tourist place with all the dinosaur carcasses and Jimin was soooooooo excited? As soon as he spotted it he told us about how he loves dinosaurs

He couldn't wait to get off the ATV and ran towards it.

And there he goes telling RM all about it. Super super excited he is.

As soon as he was given the go ahead he got inside one of them.

Now, JK could you please tell us your favourite animal just one more time?

Thank you JK ☺☺☺

Out of the million things Jikook have in common, quickly add dinosaurs to the list if you haven't. 🥰🥰

While we are on BV there is this one moment that I didn't understand. Like Jimin was just there... he wasn't even talking it was RM and someone else talking. But JK was just.... staring at Mimi

Like for no reason. And as soon as Jimin turned back to his food JK quickly looks away.

This JK habit absolutely fascinates me. Like fr fr. What is it? What goes on? Like Mr. Jeon can you speak your thoughts outloud? That's your man, you've known him for years, why do you look at him like you've never seen him before? It's just... I don't understand... but I know it ain't normal. Like, friends don't just stare at their other friends for no reason.

Okay so I just thought this was cute

And this will always be very eyebrow raising for me. Why u blushing for your bandmate Jimin?

And why does JK always look so cocky when that happens? 🤔 Guess we'll never know 🤷🏽‍♀️

Satellite Jeon my favourite! Look at him be subtle!

Oh what's that? V showing Jimin his phone?

Oops, JK must know what Jimin is looking at. On time, like clockwork. Peekaboo!

This one i clicked on by accident but I'm not mad at it. For me, It's how deep Jimin's fingers are digging into an erogenous part of JK's body 😏

Sorry I'm late my dear. But hope this post finds you well 💚💚💚

In conclusion: